


Shadows of the past

by undertalefruitsalad



Series: The Swapfell Brothers [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Angst, Coming of Age, Consensual Underage Sex, Disobedience, Dubious Consent, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, Fontcest, Gags, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Punishment, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Coercion, Soul Bond, Swearing, soul manhandling, spanking as educational punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-07-16 22:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7286731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undertalefruitsalad/pseuds/undertalefruitsalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How come Sans has this need to constantly inflict pain on Papyrus? How come Papyrus lets Sans do it?<br/>This is how it all had started.<br/>Love is pain and pain is love.<br/>One can't be without the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Exploring the needs

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote in "heat me up" that Grillby had taken care of Papyrus heats before I was like: ... what? I thought Sans was his first?  
> Turns out, even though I write the story, the story does it's own thing. But this confused me so much that I had to write something about their past. Thought it was about time to get to know the characters I write about. 
> 
> So let's walk the memory lane.
> 
> If you would like to see more of how I imagine their relationship to be then you can visit my tumblr, but it is nsfw for several reasons so be careful.
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/everythingundertalemystuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus growing up and struggeling with the exploration of his sexuality and his more than brotherly feelings for Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to rearrange the chapters since Sans chapter got as long as all the ones before so I put them together.
> 
> Though with 14 you are considered an adult in this universe and are supposed to survive on your own I did tag it as underage sex.
> 
> And we finally find out why Papyrus never said "i love you" in any of my other works.

Sans had always told him to keep away from Grillby. And Papyrus understood why he said so. When you live in the underground it is kind of hard to build up trust to any other monster. Trust was for the weak. Relationships, alliances, those were only for monsters who weren’t strong enough to depend on themselves. Family bonds were accepted, but only to a certain age. Then you had either learned to get along on your own or learned the price to pay. This did not necessarily mean you got dusted. There were surprisingly view murder committed. That might be due to the fact that it is much more entertaining to keep someone as your punching bag, toy or slave. 

Grillby was a special case. Not that he hadn’t his “playthings” but he was always nice, always smiling and always willing to give his sweets to those who looked like they needed it. Sans always said that was his way to get what he wanted and to keep you in the dark about his own evil intentions. Papyrus believed that. But he was also convinced that he could handle Grillby one way or another. It was just too much of a pleasurable change to actually be noticed, having someone who was seemingly happy so see you. And so far Grillby had never tried anything bad. So Papyrus had decided to spend his time at the firemonsters place now and then to enjoy the company and the attention the elder one showed him. Including getting some treats whenever he was there. 

As time passed he became a regular and Grillby even gave him his newest sweets to test them out and ask for his opinion. Since Sans was barely ever home no one noticed how much time he spend at the parlor. 

Papyrus had now reached the age where kids usually left the sheltered home to start their own life, or get it ended. But Sans had made it very clear that Papyrus would not leave the house. He was to stay with Sans. For how long he didn’t say. But Papyrus was okay with that. He didn’t want to leave his brother. He liked being around him. However, it appeared that the other did not reciprocate those feelings, since, if he actually was home, barely talked to Papyrus and even avoided staying in the same room as him. 

It had hurt him bad, but with time he got used to the stinging pain the neglect elicited. He had hoped it would get better the older he got but it happens to be the other way round. It just got worse. He did not just crave for his brothers attention more, but also and especially longed for physical contact. 

Physical affection was rare all around the underground, not just in their family. That didn’t stop him though to imagine how his older brother would wrap his arms around him and hold him close. Sans had hugged him a few times when he was younger, but the older he got the more reclusive he became. 

 

13

One day Papyrus was especially frustrated about his brothers’ ignorance and decided, since he was almost old enough to leave the house anyway he would just run away. Maybe just for a few days, or forever. It didn’t matter anyway.

He didn’t get far. His brother found him pretty fast. He looked incredibly upset. This was the first time he had seen Sans cry. It was shocking and he did not know how to handle that. The moment he was found, Sans all but ran towards him with a grim expression, teeth clenched, and his magic flaring. He grabbed Papyrus firmly by the arm, struck his arm out and slapped him hard across the face. It was … weird. It hurt, but not the way he expected it to. He looked at Sans in surprise. And then he got wrapped in two strong, protecting arms. His brother embraced him. Pulled him so close. 

“Don’t you ever dare to do this again. You know how dangerous it is out here. You could have been killed or kidnapped or, gosh, they might have done whatever to you.” 

Was Sans worried about him? It was hard to imagine but it certainly seemed that way. And he liked it. Maybe he should do those things more often. That obviously got his older brothers attention. 

\----

A few days after the incident Sans called for Papyrus. Something that rarely happened so it had to be important. When he came to the room he had last seen a long while ago, he started looking around but fast his light wandered to Sans and stayed there. By now they were both the same height but Sans had told him he would grow far taller than him. It was hard to imagine that he would one day look down at his older brother. 

When he stood in front of Sans he gave a questioning look. 

“Since your little escapade last week I decided to make sure to have a way to find you. It is quite easy for me to find you normally if you run away so just … don’t do that. It is just a waste of time.” 

He looked at Papyrus. And the look was something he had rarely, if ever, seen on Sans. He looked afraid. But afraid of what?

He made a step towards Papyrus, grabbed at his shroud, turning it lower to reveal some of his clavicle. 

“I got you something.” 

It was a black leather collar. It looked pretty plain and unsuspicious. Was he supposed to wear that?

“Turn around.” 

Ordered Sans and Papyrus obeyed. Indeed the collar was for him. Because Sans started to drape the hard leather around his neck. The motion, his brothers’ hands so close to his bare bones, actually sent a shiver down his spine. He wanted him to stay there longer. To let his hands linger. And to his utmost surprise they did. Sans laid his hands on his shoulders. The thumbs were moving in little circles. It seemed not like a conscious motion. But papyrus enjoyed it nonetheless. 

“Papyrus, we have talked about it before. Monsters use other monsters to get something. That’s why bonds are an incredibly risky thing. We have a bond. One that I don’t want to ever rip apart. But that leaves me vulnerable. If someone were to kidnap you … what were I supposed to do?”

It was a rhetorical question, so Papyrus kept concentrating on the soothing words and the little tingles that Sans fingers generated on his bones 

“That’s why I got you this collar. It contains a part of my magic and with this I will be able to find you, wherever you are as long as you wear it. So even if someone dared to take you away from me I would be able to get you back.”

By now Papyrus felt like he was in a dream. This was more affection than he had gotten from his brother in years. The words, the touches, the gesture in general. He cared!

“I would like you to wear turtlenecks from now on, to hide the collar. People might get suspicious about something like that.”

With that he retracted his hands. Immediately Papyrus turned around to muster Sans, see if his face showed what he just had felt. But his look was as blank as usual. 

“That’s all. You can go now.” 

\----

Papyrus was not willed to let the situation go so easily. The next day he tried to start a conversation with Sans. About the collar.

“Brother. The collar. Does this mean you own me now?”

Without looking up came the answer:

“Not more or less than I did before.”

“So you know now wherever I go to. You know whatever move I make right? Just like a god.”

That got him a reaction. Sans smiled. A real smile! That was new.  
And his tone was actually kind of playful while he answered. 

“Yes, I am your lord now. Treat me with respect and obey my every order or suffer the consequences.”

It was supposed to be a joke. Papyrus got that. But he could not help it. He wanted to play along. It was a scarce enough occasion that Sans actually talked to him and even smiled.

“Yes m’lord whatever you wish for I shall provide.”

It was just a game, just some harmless little play, but something about this sentence felt … like it had a deeper meaning. Sans grin got wider, a sparkle in his eyes showed up and Papyrus could not look away. It was so beautiful. He always thought of his brother as a handsome monster but this gleaming in his eyes, and in combination with the smile made him feel … all warm, pleased and content. He wanted to see this expression again, and again until forever. 

Maybe he should call him “his lord” more often …

14

One day they had a terrible fight. It got really heated and Papyrus knew he was going too far. But he didn’t care. He was upset. The louder he got the more quiet Sans became. Until his voice was a threatening whisper.

“Papyrus I swear If you don’t stop right now I will spank your ass just like I used to when you were a child, because that’s exactly how you are behaving. Like a little, stupid brat. And I will not tolerate that any further.” 

Papyrus didn’t care. As if his brother would do that. By now he towered over his brother by half a head. Who was he to tell him what to do? He laughed at him.

“Oh yes, keep on treating me like a child. I am grown up now. You can’t tell me what to do and what not. It’s not like I mean anything to you anyway.”

By now he screamed. 

“So don’t pretend to care!”

And with that he laid flat on the floor. Knocked out he saw stars for a moment before he could feel being dragged around by Sans blue magic.

He was flung against the armrest of the couch. His face buried in the seat cushion. Having his behind up on the armrest making it difficult for his feet to touch the ground. It was uncomfortable. As Sans inched closer he could make out that the belt Sans wore had been removed from its rightful place and was sliding on the floor as Sans stepped forward. With a quick movement he yanked down Papyrus pants and took the belt in his hands, letting it snap intimidatingly. 

Papyrus heard the belt swinging through the air before it landed hard on his rear. He screamed out. Loud. It hurt! 

Sans repeated the movement.

It still hurt. But … strangely Papyrus didn’t mind. He felt a flush across his cheeks. He felt… he could not say how he felt. After the third strike Sans started to talk to him.

“Don’t you ever dare to treat me with such profanity again!”

Snap

“Don’t you ever dare to say that I don’t care about you!”

Snap

“If you don’t know what you are talking about, shut your mouth and keep it that way.”

Snap

“I will not tolerate such disrespect any further!”

Snap

“The next time you step out of line you will be punished.”

This one was particularly hard.

“I will show you your place when you are obviously screaming to be put there.”

With that he used his belt one last time. Papyrus was speechless. Tears running down his face. He did not whimper though. He was dead silent. The whole scenario seemed more than just a little unreal and he had no idea how to react now. 

But fortunately Sans had. He pulled Papyrus pants up again, buckled his belt and made a short stop in front the couch, looking down on Papyrus, who did not dare to look up to him. He felt ashamed. And confused. And all sorts of things. Without any last words Sans made his way towards the stairs in the direction of his room.

“I am sorry.” 

Came papyrus raspy voice timidly from the couch. He still didn’t dare to move. But he had to say this. He felt the need to apologize and had not the willpower to act against it. 

“You should.” 

Was sans short answer and with that he went into his room and locked the door. Leaving a very shaken papyrus.

\----

This incident was a revelation for Papyrus. He did not realise what he felt or what it meant but he knew he wanted more. More from Sans. And as much as he did not want to disobey his brother again, he wanted that punishment. So he began to make mistakes. Since he did not want to openly oppose his brother he simply did things wrong or things that annoyed his brother. He started slow maybe a broken plate this week, the next a fire that almost burned down the shed. He had a great variability in his “mistakes”, but somehow they increased drastically. While it started with two weeks in between it soon enough happened on a daily basis and sure as that Sans got suspicious.

“Papyrus, I can’t help but think that you are doing this on purpose.”

Papyrus looked shocked. Had he been this obvious? He had to play it down.

“Why in the underground would I make mistakes on purpose?”

He saw a glint in Sans eyes. But luckily he dropped the subject …for now.

15

“I suggest you shut up now.”

“Make me!”

This was the first time Sans gagged him. With his soft, blue scarf that he always wore and he imagined that this was how Sans would taste like. Papyrus would not mind doing this more often and judging from the pleased look in Sans face neither would he. Though, maybe not for the same reasons Papyrus did. He probably really just wanted him silenced. 

That day Sans pushed all his right buttons. It felt so good, oh so good. He wanted more of this. It was too much to hold back anymore. He let out a loud, guttural moan that could be heard through the fabric in his mouth. And stiffened. He had moaned. He had just moaned in front of Sans! He had moaned BECAUSE of Sans! Papyrus face coloured in shame. Maybe he hadn’t heard it. But Sans had stopped the moment the loud left his throat. 

“Did you just moan?”

No.  
He shook his head. There was no way he would admit that. Even if it had been obvious.

“You are enjoying this, aren’t you?”

No!  
Even more frantic head shaking.

“You have done it all on purpose.”

No.  
Tears started to well up

“Papyrus don’t lie to me. Don’t ever lie to me.”

Papyrus was scared, he was ashamed, he didn’t know what this was. What would his brother think? He just wanted to vanish. And he did. That was the first time he teleported. Directly to Grillby. The only other monster he felt at least kind of safe with. Grillby was surprised but gladly decided to take care of the poor little thing. 

Papyrus stayed at his place for a few days. Not without Sans coming to look for him though. He got into a heated argument with Grillby which almost escalated in a fight until Papyrus came. He did not dare to look at his brother. 

“i would like to stay with grillby for a while.” 

Sans opened his mouth but whatever he wanted to respond, he decided to not say it. He just nodded, glared a threat at Grillby and left. 

Papyrus felt relieve as he watched Sans leave, but at the same time he felt a sting in his soul and sadness became the more prominent feeling.  
Grillby laid his arm around Papyrus shoulders in an attempt to comfort him and guided him back inside. 

\---

A few days had passed and Papyrus didn’t feel any better. Quite the contrary, for the first time in his young life he felt physically sick. He was feeling hot and his bones hurt in a manner he definitely was not used to. When he came into Grillbys kitchen he was greeted joyfully. 

“Good morning sugar cube, are you feeling alright? You look a little … stressed.”

Grillby had been truly understanding. Papyrus had told him what had happened, and offered he could stay as long as he needed. He had comforted him and showered him with hugs and words of encouragement. But it had not helped to lessen the pain he felt in his soul. And now his condition was shown so openly. That was not good. But he couldn’t help it. He did feel like shit. He had never been sick before but he had heard how it was to be ill and how he was feeling fitted this description pretty well.

“thanks for your concern grillby. i think i might get sick. i feel a little feverish.”

Grillby showed a concerned mine. Not that he truly was, he knew what was going on with Papyrus. He had waited for that day. This would definitely be entertaining.

“Oh my dear Papyrus, I am terribly sorry. Let me see.”

He closed in on Papyrus, hand on the others forehead. Indeed, he was burning. Barely noticeable Papyrus leaned into the touch. Grillby knew by now how needy Papyrus was in matters of approval and affection. But he had also learned that he was not as stupid as his first impression suggested.

“You know Papyrus, I may have a candy cane for you to make you feel better.”

“no thanks grillby, i am good.”

“But it could make you feel much, much better. I promise.”

The flamemonster was leaning towards Papyrus, faces almost close enough to touch. A hand was laid gently on his upper thigh, suspiciously close to his crotch. Normally if anyone dared to get this close, even Grillby, Papyrus would have put up a fight, or run away. But right now the heat he felt was only burning more intense, induced by Grillbys closeness. And though it felt more intense now it also was … good?

Papyrus did not move when the other monster started kissing his forehead. The flames gave a tickling sensation and this time he was sure. It felt good. He hoped Grillby would not stop his ministrations. And those warm hands were moving too, one inching to the waistband of his trousers and the other sliding over his back. So far Papyrus had done nothing but to accept the caresses given to him but without thinking he now wrapped his arms around Grillby to pull him closer. 

That was the sign the older one had been waiting for. 

That day Papyrus gave himself to Grillby for the first time.

After Grillby had a talk about heats with Papyrus, he suggested that he might help him out whenever it was that time again. He could stay over and not burden his brother with that. Papyrus agreed. It seemed like a logical solution.

He had stayed with Grillby for two weeks now and wanted to return to Sans so badly. But he was afraid to turn back home. He wanted to know if Sans is alright. It would not be like before ever again, he was aware of that. But he wished for it still. Better to be ignored by Sans than not being in his life at all.

When he opened the door nobody was home. As expected. But was it even still his home? He needed to do something to show that he still wanted to be part of this household. He decided to try and cook something. Usually Sans did all the cooking, but maybe he would be happy about the surprise. He wasn’t even sure if his brother was okay with him coming back. Maybe Sans didn’t want to see him anymore, which would be understandable, or he had understood Papyrus leaving for a lasting decision.

When he was finished he tried his best to clean up his mess but somehow it still looked like it had been hit by a bomb. So he sat down and waited for Sans to hopefully return soon. Three hours later he was still sitting there with cold spaghetti in front of him when he heard the front door open. He saw Sans, who looked … different somehow. He could not put it in words. Papyrus wanted to call for him but did not dare. The older one knew he was there. He could feel his presence and the air still smelt of food. 

He made his way to the kitchen, made halt in the doorway and stared at Papyrus. He did not move or say anything, he was just looking at his not so little brother. This began to freak him out. So Papyrus broke the silence.

“i- i made dinner for you.”

He grabbed the plate and held it in front of his brother. For a moment nothing happened. Then Sans reached slowly for the offered plate and fork to take a bite. After he had chewed he put the plate aside. Looked in Papyrus hopeful face and spoke.

“IT TASTES LIKE SHIT … AND IT IS COLD TOO.”

Sans did not scream. But his voice had a tune that filled the room and rang in Papyrus earholes. The voice seemed to fit the change he had noticed on Sans. But the words. They hurt. Papyrus felt his soul crumble. He didn’t know what he had expected but the coldness in his brothers voice and the even icier look was not what he wanted. 

Sans finally took his eyes from Papyrus and looked around the kitchen.

“YOUR HAVE MADE SUCH A MESS TO JUST TO CREATE SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! GO TO YOUR ROOM. I DON’T WANT YOU TO DISTURB ME WHILE I CLEAN UP THIS DISASTER!”

That … was even more unexpected. If anything, he had thought Sans would punish him, shout at him or something similar in that matter. He tried to accept it. But he felt his soul throb with suffering. Though, he assumed that also meant he was still living here and allowed to stay around for longer.

Walking up the stairs he grabbed the scarf buried in his pocket. Sans would not get it back. Not if he didn’t tell him to. It helped calm him down. Helped him to feel close to his brother, because that would probably be the only way to be close to him now.

\---

All that was now three years ago. He still had the scarf and usually spun it between his ribs close to his soul. It was that time again and on his was to Grillby those thought tended to haunt him. They had started to have sex aside from their heats as well, though sex was not always involved in what they did. A lot of times Papyrus just went to Grillby for him to inflict pain on the skeleton. Papyrus always had the need to be punished for whatever he did. It did not have to be something bad he had done, it was just a general urge to him, and ever after that fateful day Sans did not dare to touch him anymore. They still talked. He stuck to call him his lord. In a more serious manner. But the only touches he ever got from Sans now, was when he had truly messed up. And then it got painful, real painful.

16

“PAPYRUS GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!”

“n- no. please don’t. i am sorry!”

He knew what was coming. And he knew he deserved it. It was not the first time Sans had manhandled his soul. But every single time hurt like hell. Not just with the painful contact but also the emotional implication. And every single time he was afraid that Sans might figure out what Papyrus felt for him. It was shameful, it was disgusting and he hated himself for those feelings. He had finally realised that he was in love with his brother. And that he wanted him. Physically. But this realisation was so much worse than the oblivious uncertainty. 

“DON’T GIVE ME THAT SHIT. SERIOUSLY, TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE THE MAN YOU ALWAYS CLAIM TO BE.”

So he did. It hurt it hurt like nothing else he had ever experienced, it was painful to no end and he thought he might collapse from it. 

“PAPYRUS, WHEN YOU GET INTO A FIGHT THE WOUNDS WILL BE MUCH MORE SEVER THAN WHAT I AM DOING TO YOU. SO JUST AVOID FIGHTING! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO YOU, TO THINK YOU NEED TO FIGHT TO PROVE YOURSELF.”

He had started picking fights with monsters. He was strong and therefore he never got hurt. He wanted to show his brother that he could protect him. That he would be able to be useful to him. He didn’t know what other way he could show Sans how deeply he cared about him. 

And now he was suffering. Because the moment Sans heard of what Papyrus was doing he became truly mad. 

Suddenly the pain stopped. Sans had stopped ripping and scratching at his soul. Instead his gloved fingers traced carefully along the lines before placing the dimly shining soul back in Papyrus ribcage.

“YOU SHOULD START TO THINK BEFORE YOU ACT.”

With that he left Papyrus crumbled on the floor.

Grillby was pushing him down roughly. Mostly those movements distracted him from his thoughts. But this time they stayed. Even when the flamemonster started to scratch at his bones with a pointy lollypop until he reached the marrow Papyrus was not fully there. So he told him to stop.

“Stop? Why would I stop? You like this!” 

Papyrus could not deny that he liked it but he didn’t want this right now. He wanted to go. 

“yes, i know, but i’m just not intooaaaahhhh…”

Grillby showed no sign of letting him go. Rather he took a firmer grip on him and stimulated all the spots he knew drove Papyrus crazy. Pulling on his lower rib, bending it almost to the point of breaking, Papyrus didn’t last long. 

And then Grillby bit down on him. Hard. And Papyrus gasped in ecstasy as he came. 

“saaaaaaaaaaans!”

The scream cut through his bones.

He had just come.  
With Grillby almost breaking one of his bones.  
While screaming his brothers name. 

Fuck! That was messed up.

“You are thinking about your brother while we are doing this?!”

Grillby appeared to be only mildly surprised.

Papyrus slapped his hand in front of his face to cover his eyes.

“please don’t tell him that.” 

“Of course I won't.”

“i have to leave.”

“Sure you do.”

Papyrus left so fast, he didn’t even see the devious smile that plastered the other ones face.

That was it. That was not okay. He wanted all this. But not with Grillby. He wanted his brother. Needed his brother and no one else. Whatever Sans did to him felt hundred times better than when he got fucked by Grillby. Grillby was supposed to be just a solution for his heats. But this could not continue. He wanted to be Sans’. Only Sans and his alone. He truly wanted him to be his lord. He always had but he just realised it now that he didn’t want to go on any other way.

“sans!” 

He almost screamed when he got home. He wanted to tell him that he needed him, that he adored him, that he wanted to kiss the ground he was standing on. Simply that he loved him. But he couldn’t.

When he was younger, almost still a babybones he once told his brother that he loved him.

8

“I love you brother!”

“No you don’t!” 

Was Sans simple but harsh response.

“But …”

“You don’t! Love is dangerous! It’s no coincidence that it is short for “level of violence”. Because real love is dangerous. It hurts. You and others. You lose yourself in it. You don’t love me. Don’t ever say that to me again”

He seemed outraged. So Papyrus simply nodded.

“Okay.” 

And added with a short glance to the side, seeing that his brother still looked angry.

“I am sorry brother.”

That eased Sans expression and softly smiling he said:

“It’s okay. I forgive you. Just … promise me to never say that again.”

He looked awfully sad at those words. But Papyrus did the only right thing. He gripped his brothers hand tightly and firmly looking at him responded:

“I promise.”

\---

Sans was sitting on the couch. Reading a book like usual. When he saw his brothers frame appearing, he could make out that he had just come from Grillby. He knew his brother went to him for his heats. It made him angry. So, so angry. Why did Papyrus allow this motherfucker to screw around with him? He should be the one giving it to him.

“YOU REEK OF SEX. GO AND TAKE A SHOWER.”

He did not spare another look at Papyrus, who really wanted to say something. He wanted to tell Sans that he was the only one for him. That Papyrus belonged to him. That he needed him. But all he said was:

“Yes m’lord.”


	2. Losing control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and his messed up feelings, alsways fighting for the right thing to do and failing spectacularly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Know how I said Sans chapter might take a while? Well ... I lied.  
> Remember Grillbys smile? Is kinda important here.  
> The image of Grillby I portrait is based on this: http://flamedaddy.tumblr.com/post/142736895552/swapfellgrillby-aka-helen-name-ike-like
> 
> What a surprise I write about Sans and what tag do I put up? Angst.

The one thing, the only thing he had always been sure of was that he loved his brother. It was the only constancy in his life. It would never change. Never weaver. It simply was. Ever since he was a child he had sworn to be there for him. To protect him. No matter what. But as Papyrus grow older his feelings grew as well. And not in a direction he wanted them to. He started to feel more for his brother. He didn’t want to just protect him anymore. He wanted to be close to him. So much closer. And that would not happen. He would not do this to his brother. So he started to avoid him. First touching. Than he reduced talking to him and then seeing him in general. It was painful. For both of them. He knew his little brother needed his input to feel better. But he could not let this happen. He could not let feelings happen. He would harden his heart. He would become ice. He would feel nothing. Feelings were dangerous. They were hard to handle and impossible to control. So best to avoid and suppress them all.  
\---  
One time in their lives Papyrus had been taken away from him. Papyrus doesn’t remember. But Sans does. It was the worst time of his life. He felt helpless. He could do nothing but look at his brother as Gaster took him away. When his brother was returned he had bruises, scratches and marks. Signs of cruelty, those innocent bones should not show. And at this day Sans promised to protect him. No matter what, he would be there to make sure he was alright. He would never let this happen again. But it was not in his hands. It happened again and again and he could do nothing that would prevent it. He fought bitterly when they tried to take him away. But he was too weak. He always was. He had to become stronger. That’s what he did. Until he finally was strong enough to run away with Papyrus. He was not even old enough to count as an adult but he didn’t care. They needed to get away. He worked hard, made shady deals, threatened people and somehow they managed to survive.  
The day Sans finally became of age and was legally allowed to work and be acknowledged as an adult he heard Papyrus say those horrible words. The words he always felt for his brother but that he didn’t want to hear from him. Papyrus wouldn’t know what they mean. Not the way Sans knew. Love was a painful process. And he never wanted Papyrus to have to endure this kind of pain. So he simply forbid those words in hope to spare his brother so much distress.  
Work was tiring. He had barely time for his little brother. But this was good. He should not suffer the strong attachment he had. He should be free. So Sans pushed him away. But still made sure that there was nothing missing in Papyrus life. He didn’t know what consequences his behaviour would have.  
Years later Papyrus ran away. And Sans was devastated. He wanted for Papyrus to be free. But he was not ready to leave. He could not handle himself. Yet again Sans had failed to protect his brother. He searched for him hoping he would not be too late. Since they were living together all their lives he managed to track down Papyrus magic. He indeed found him and even though he tried he could not hold back his anger. How could his brother hurt him so much? How could he be so stupid and bring himself in danger? Why would he run away and leave him? It was selfish he knew that but he didn’t care either. That was the first time he beat Papyrus. And the first time he cried in front of him. That time it didn’t matter though. He felt just too relieved to see him alive. But he knew, he could not let this happen again. He can’t let his control slip away. He would take measures.  
The days after, he was thinking. It was easy for other monsters to just take Papyrus away. Just like back then. And if that would happened he knew he would break, he couldn’t take it again. So he thought of a solution. A solution to find Papyrus no matter where he was. And then he would be able to fight. To bring him back. Where he belonged. With him. It was some piece of work to actually collect his magic in a vessel that was not even alive but he figured a way out. He was kind of worried what Papyrus might think about it. If he would even want to keep it. But he did. In this rare moment of intimacy he realised far too late that he had let his hand do things on their own. They had caressed Papyrus. That was not supposed to happen. Why did he do that? And then Papyrus called him his lord. And he felt his magic react in a way it had never before. It would turn out to be the start of something that should have never be awoken.  
\---  
In the following year Papyrus began to change. As well in appearance as in behaviour. He used to be sweet and obedient but he became sassy and always tried to push Sans to his limits, who in turn tried to stay cool and calm to not feed his raging emotions. Those emotions were toxic. More than ever. Because he began to see his brother differently. In a not brotherly way but instead as the skeleton monster he was.  
But that one certain day Papyrus went too far. How dare that little shit say he would not care about him when all he cared about was Papyrus? He could not calm down this time. He reacted before he realised what he was doing. His magic stirring up in rage. That idiot would think twice before saying something like that again. Those words had hurt him and Sans would show him the same pain he had just inflicted on him. But when he saw the tears in the others eyes he realised what he just had done. He had violently disciplined Papyrus. His little brother he pretended to care for. Even though he felt bad, he was not sorry. And he knew he would do it again if it was necessary. And it was. Papyrus did not ever say anything in that matter but he … made mistakes and Sans could not help it but think those were no coincidences anymore. As he asked, Papyrus denied it. So Sans dropped the topic, but he was sure his brother was not honest with him. Time will tell what was going on in his stupid, wonderful little brothers’ mind.  
\---  
To his misfortune Sans found out that he started to like punishing Papyrus. He deserved it and needed someone to show him his limits and that someone he would gladly be. But when he started nagging about bullshit in his loud and high pitched voice and simply would not stop even as he told him to, a flip switched. He actually gagged Papyrus. And even though he realised that this certainly was far more than just punishment he could not hold back. He knew his eyes were flaring but he didn’t care. All that cared was this moment. This moment of raw open emotion the connection between him and his brother. And then he heard it. A loud that was so intense, so bone marrow melting, it sent more than shivers down his spine. His brother had moaned. It was no suffering screech or pleading it was a pleasured moan. He was sure about it. So his brother truly did like this stuff. He really did do those mistakes on purpose. It was … a curious thing, that actually was quite funny to Sans. He enjoyed it as well and knowing he really didn’t do his brother something bad was a relieve to say the least.  
But as he approached Papyrus he was in sheer panic. And then he was gone. Just gone! Where the fuck did he go? Sans had to gather himself for a moment to remember the collar. He was at Grillbys? How the hell did he do that? And why was he with Grillby? Maybe he was confused about the situation. Or ashamed or … whatever and just needed to cool off. He would probably come back soon enough.  
But he didn’t. That was not okay. Who was he to just run away from his punishment to that horrible, disgusting Grillby? So Sans went to get Papyrus, only to be blocked off by Grillby, who told him that he had disturbed Papyrus and he wanted to stay there. That, Sans had a hard time to believe. Until Papyrus actually said so himself. The worst part was, as he looked at his brother, Sans realised that his brother got into his first heat. Damn! How could he choose to stay with that despicable piece of trash? Grillby must have realised it just as Sans has and he knew what the firemonster was after. And he hated it. With every fibre of his being. And Papyrus would fall for it. Because Grillby knew what he was doing and how to make monsters do what he wanted without them realising it. He wanted to scream, to shout, to drag Papyrus home with him. But he couldn’t. Papyrus went to Grillby on his own account. He was a free monster. That’s what Sans had always wished for him. And as much as he behaved so, Papyrus was no baby and if he decided he wanted to be with Grillby he could do nothing about it. He wanted to say something, so much, but he could not. He would not be able to keep his feelings down. So he just left without so much as another look back. He wanted Papyrus happy, happy and free and safe. As much as he hated Grillby he knew he could take care and make sure Papyrus was safe. Probably much better than he could. So if his brothers’ luck meant a life without him in it he would take it. Even if it tore him apart.  
\---  
When he made his way home he felt nothing. For the first time in his life his emotions had died down. This numbness was something he had wanted to achieve in all these years and now it was there. But that was not the way he wanted it to happen. He knew what Grillby was going to do to Papyrus. But he had made his choice. Sans had warned him over and over again. And now he was with Grillby. Because of the mistakes Sans had made. Maybe if he had treated him differently he would have stayed with him. If he had better control over himself he wouldn’t have lost the one thing he loved. Everything he had ever done was trying to protect Papyrus and everything he ever did just hurt Papyrus more and drove him further away. And now he had lost him. Truly. He would not come back. Why would he?  
Sans knees gave up beneath him. He had not realised that he had fallen. He let himself down to his hands and punched the ground. His anger was burning up. Anger at Papyrus because he didn’t see what he got himself into, what he did to Sans with his actions. Anger at Grillby, because this shit had taken his brother. Anger at himself for letting it all come this far. He let out a long, loud scream. Full of all the anger and pain that seemed to suffocate him. Those pained screams echoed around him and filled the air with despair and lost hope.  
He would not cry. He wouldn’t be this weak! He would not let his emotions take over again. It were always his emotions that destroyed everything. The thing he had most trouble controlling. Why were all his tries to control himself, the situations, other monsters doomed to fail? Maybe Papyrus was better off with Grillby. Maybe he would treat him the way his brother needed. The way he deserved. With affection and love. The things he could not give because of his own sick longings.  
“What do we have here? A victim waiting for someone to finish it off?”  
He knew this voice. And he knew what it meant. Trouble. It was one of the dog monsters. He usually avoided contact with them. One of the few family bounds that were not seen as weakness. And if anyone would mess with one of them they were sure to be cut into pieces soon after by the other dogs. But right now he didn’t care.  
“I’m giving you a fair warning: d o n ‘ t m e s s w i t h m e ! “  
That was all Sans said. He didn’t even stand up. He could feel where the other monster was standing, preparing to attack him. But he was faster. Without another warning he pulled up his bones. No chance of escape. He could feel the life draining out of the other. He smiled. It felt good.  
As the wind blew, he felt the dust tickle on his exposed bones. That was the first time he killed a monster.  
It was rarely the intelligent move to kill another monster. To have someone’s life depts was better. That’s why Sans always spared the monsters he had to fight. If you actually decided to kill someone it might be that you have the problem of those bound to them. So it was easier for everyone to not kill others.  
He felt different. Must be due to the love he had gained. Heh, he didn’t gain love but LOVE. Great! He could live with that.  
\---  
He knew Papyrus was back at their home before he even got close. The necklace gave it away. He still wore it to Sans surprise. But what did it matter? What mattered was: Why was he there?  
Inside, all he could do was stare at Papyrus. His feelings tried to well up. He could not let this happen. But seeing his babybrother like this, hurt, afraid and begging to be accepted again all he wanted to do was taking him in his arms and never letting go. But he didn’t. He was in control. He would not lose to his urges. But Papyrus was back. And he obviously wanted to stay.  
He had to show him he was still welcome here. He would always be. Sending him to his room seemed reasonable enough.  
\---  
Papyrus had become very timid around Sans. Tries to please him in any way possible but … Sans never felt pleased. He could not forgive Papyrus for his betrayal. If it would have been just this one time he chose Grillby, he could have dealt with it. But it turned to a routine. And that, Sans was not capable of forgiving. Every damn singe time he left him to go to Grillby was like he took a piece of his soul and pierced it with his bones. He understood that Papyrus had needs but stars, if he needed someone, why would he choose Grillby? By now Sans had accepted his sick feelings towards his brother. Still not willing to do this to Papyrus, even if he tortured him so badly. All Sans wanted to do was making his brother scream his name. He wanted to hurt him, break him and then build him up again. He wanted to own him. To claim Papyrus as his. The way it was supposed to be. Papyrus was his. And no one, not Grillby or anyone would ever talk this out of him.  
\---  
The rumours in town spread fast and so it was easy for Sans to hear from Papyrus escapades. And he was furious. Who does he think he is? Sans had not spent his whole life trying to protect him just so he could go out and search for battles himself. He would make his point clear in a matter that Papyrus understood and he had exactly the idea of how to do this.  
Holding the fragile, soft soul in his hands and his first anger gone he felt guilty. This soul. This core of his brothers being was what he had tried to save all this years and now he was hurting it. For his own good of course, so he understood the severity of his actions but … it was painful for himself just as much as for Papyrus. Whatever pain Papyrus would have to go through, it was only fair if Sans felt the same.  
\---  
When it knocked on the door Sans was startled. They never got visitors.  
Readying for anything to come he opened the door. And just wanted to close it again as he saw who it was.  
“URGH, WHAT DO YOU WANT ASSHOLE. PAPYRUS IS NOT HOME.”  
“I did not want to talk to your brother. There is business that I need to discuss with you.”  
“SO? AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?”  
“OKAY WE QUIT THE SMALL TALK, FINE BY ME. WHEN I MADE LOVE WITH YOUR DEAR LITTLE BROTHER HE ACTUALLY GOT TO THE POINT WHERE HE TOLD ME TO STOP. OF COURSE I DIDN’T LISTEN BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT HE LIKES.”  
“YOU DID WHAT?!”  
What had this scumbag just said? Sans was so close to losing his temper and just ripping him apart even if he would dust himself in the process.  
“Yes, but that is not the point. When he got into it and was all fire about it and I made him come he screamed your name.”  
He had just closed in on his visitor to tear him to pieces as Sans realised what he had said and blanked out. What was this piece of trash saying? Why was he even telling him this?  
“I see, you did not know how your brother felt about you. What a nice change of events. Though, I personally find it pretty obvious. Ever since he first came to me I was sure he felt this way for you.”  
He let his words sink in before he started anew.  
“You may wonder why I am telling you this. Well, since your brother seemed to be … very attached to you. What do you think would he be willing to do if someone took his beloved brother from him? How would he feel if his brother were dead? Who would protect him then?”  
Grillby could not hold onto himself and showed a wide smile. The shocked expression on Sans usually so emotionless face was a sight not be seen every day. He thoroughly enjoyed this little talk.  
“It is not just you who made himself vulnerable by keeping him around. He did so as well, but obviously he is not aware of what consequences that might have to him or you. So, I got the feeling that Papyrus might not want to … be with me anymore due to his feelings for you. And this brings me to the point. You see, I am pretty sure you would be able to reason with him. Explaining him why he should better be and stay with me than with you. You certainly have your ways. And in return nothing would most likely happen to him or you. Both of you would be safe. A win/win situation for everyone. I am sure you understand.”  
Sans was just standing there. Not believing what Grillby just did here.  
“Hm you seem a little rattled. Understandable. I will leave you then. Think about it. I am sure you will make the right decision.”

… what was that? Was it true what Grillby just had said? Was Papyrus really feeling something else for Sans that he didn’t see? Didn’t want to see? Or was he lying to grant that Papyrus would be his toy again?  
He needed to figure that out. But without Papyrus noticing. How was he supposed to do that?  
Maybe he should see how far his brother was willing to let Sans go with him … this might be an indication to what Papyrus really wants.  
\---  
In the next few days Sans tested. He tested Papyrus limits in several ways. He made him clean up the house and if it was not stratifying he punished him. But not the way he used to. Neither took he his soul nor indicated some other physical contact. Rather he wanted to punish him mentally. If the tasks were not done properly he ordered him to lick his boots, to clean up properly but this time without the protection of his clothing, or told him to be his chair. At those orders he could see the faintest blush on Papyrus cheeks. Was he enjoying this was well? Just like the other punishment he had given him back then? He still wasn’t sure but the hints suggested so. If indeed he liked those treatments, there was no indication that it was because of his feelings towards Sans. So he had to go another way to figure out the truth.  
While he was experimenting with his brother he realised that he enjoyed doing this as well. It was not like back then when he felt guilty. It was … actually fun. Especially since Papyrus liked it as well. But just playing around like that brought him nowhere near finding out if Grillby had lied or not.  
So there were two solutions left. He could ask him. But papyrus would probably negate it, even if it was true. Therefore he had to corner him. It had to be obvious. Obvious to the extent that Papyrus would not be able to deny it.  
That meant Sans could torture him in a whole different dimension. He would try to seduce him. Or more precise, he would pretend. Sans was still not sure that he himself could be trusted in that matter, when his wishes to be close to his brother were so close to be fulfilled.  
He started slow.  
A pat on the top of his head, if he had done well.  
Caressing his cheek when he had said something right.  
Even a hug later at home if he had behaved the way in public as he should.  
Papyrus seemed to beam at those affections. Not really surprising, since he was always wishing for contact and reassurance.  
Then sans stared to let his touches linger. Letting them get more intimate. When he hugged him he placed kisses in the crook of papyrus neck. When he pulled him close he let his hand stay on the hips and sometimes Papyrus sweater would pull up a little and he could caress his bones.  
Even those far more intimate actions seemed not to push Papyrus back. Contrariwise, he became more touchy himself. He started to hold Sans hand when he saw him not wearing his gloves and even entwined their fingers, kissed him at the top of his head since it was easy to reach or pulled him up in a bone crushing hug. And Sans let him. For now. It was important to see where this was going, but he would need to put back boundaries soon enough.  
By now Sans began to weaver. This was not just brotherly affection anymore. But maybe Papyrus need for contact let him go so far and mix up the lines, not realising or not caring for it.  
Sans would not go on like this though. His own resolve was getting excruciatingly thin. All the times he had wanted to be close to his brother. All the supressed feelings came back with burning intensity with every one of those moments he shared with Papyrus.  
He decided to have a talk with him. Grillbys words, the unspoken threat was still in the back of his mind and with every passing day he started to worry about it more.  
“PAPYRUS, COME HERE! WE NEED TO TALK.”  
They had started to share their company on the couch, with Sans usually sitting up and reading a book, while Papyrus laid his head in his lap, just like a huge puppy. And that was the position he took now that his lord had called for him.  
“YOU REMEMBER THAT I TOLD YOU TO NEVER LIE TO ME?”  
He felt Papyrus stiffen slightly.  
“yeeees?”  
“I WILL ASK YOU A QUESTION AND I NEED YOU TO ANSWER HONESTLY. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.”  
“okay”  
Sans tried to calm himself. Them being so close had the disadvantage of Papyrus also feeling how Sans reacted.  
“HOW DO YOU FEEL TOWARDS ME PAPYRUS?”  
Sweat began to appear on his brothers’ forehead. Papyrus frantically tried to think of an acceptable answer without giving too much of his own true feelings away, that shouldn’t be known.  
“m-my lord, i-i admire you.”  
Sans felt strange at those words. But that was not what he needed to hear.  
“THAT IS NICE TO HEAR BUT NOT WHAT I MEANT.”  
He paused to recollect how to rephrase himself.  
“TWO WEEKS AGO GRILLBY PAID ME A VISIT AND TOLD ME SOMETHING.”  
He paused again. This time trying to read Papyrus face but he was just looking straight at the ceiling without any movement.  
“HE TOLD ME THAT WHEN THE TWO OF YOU HAD SEX YOU … SAID MY NAME.”  
He glanced at Papyrus, still no reaction!  
“I … JUST NEED TO KNOW FROM YOU IF GRILLBY HAD LIED OR IF WHAT HE HAD SAID WAS TRUE.”  
Papyrus didn’t move an inch, his expression blank. But sans could feel his magic flare up and before he could say another word his brother had teleported into his room. He could hear it crash. When Papyrus was in panic he had still some issues to aim correctly.  
To his own surprise Sans decided not to push it. He would wait. Papyrus had to come down eventually. And then he would figure out the truth. And if Grillby was actually not lying … he felt his soul pound. That would mean a whole new world for them. Things he had not thought to be possible. He had waited so long without any hope of his dreams being fulfilled and now they might be within his reach. He could wait for a little more to figure out if his brother was just as crazy as him.  
While Papyrus in his room was close to a panic attack, not knowing how to answer the question, he realised: It was now or never! His lord had asked for an answer and he had to give it to him. And he knew just the way how he could express what he felt best. Sans didn’t even seem disgusted or afraid just … honestly curious. So it probably wouldn’t be too bad. He took a moment to collect himself, before he made his way down the stairs where his master was waiting for the truth to be finally revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is precisely where this comic: http://everythingundertalemystuff.tumblr.com/post/145433111759/papyrus-confession-this-takes-place-before-their starts.


	3. Taking the lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus loses control over his temper and consequences ensue.

A while after, Papyrus was led to believe that Sans had died. He was more than devastated and went on a rampage, dusting several monsters, destroying houses and no one was able to stop him. That was until Sans came along, who in fact had not been dusted, but on a mission without being able to tell his brother about.

Sans watched the display for a while. It was a stunning view to see the untamed power of his brother. So raw and fierce, a burning rage. But he had to intervene soon, so the other monsters would not call the queen, who would certainly end Papyrus. 

As he walked closer he called out his brother’s name. But the other couldn’t hear him. He had to get closer still.

“PAPYRUS, STOP THIS NONSENSE. EVERYTHING IS ALLRIGHT, NO ONE IS HURTING YOU. I AM HERE.”

Finally he had his attention, but it was like he looked right through him. 

“YOU ARE NOT MY BROTHER! THEY KILLED HIM! HE IS DEAD!”

Papyrus roared in desperation. 

This would be more difficult than Sans had anticipated, especially after Papyrus started seriously attacking him. He barely dodged the first attack and had a hard time blocking the next one. Papyrus was powerful and quick. And as well trained as Sans was, he would be no match for his younger brother. He had to reach out to Papyrus. Somehow bring him back from his delusional stage. 

Further avoiding new attacks he sprinted towards Papyrus, still calling out for him. He had to make up a distraction to really come close. Positioning a blaster to the side, aiming at Papyrus, the latter looked away and let his front unattended. That was the chance Sans had been waiting for. He jumped forward and tackled his taller brother down, by positioning little bones at his feet so he would fall over. But Papyrus reflexes were quick and he already had a new attack at hand. But this didn’t matter to Sans now, he got him where he wanted. Straddling him and pinning him down with his blue magic he had a hard time concentrating. Papyrus was indeed truly hard to tame. To get his own hands free he crashed two bones into Papyrus hands. He howled loud. So at least pain got through to him. 

With his now free hand he slapped Papyrus hard across the face. It wouldn’t hurt as much as an attack. It was more the symbolic meaning of it that would hopefully reach the little brother. Surprisingly his struggling stopped. That was the moment Sans used. He bowed down and fixated Papyrus face between his hands so he was forced to look at Sans. 

“You idiot! What a mess are you making out here? I don’t recall telling you to go on a rampage, did I? So what brought this on?”

His voice was quiet, soothing, calming. Flickering Papyrus eyes seem to come back to focus and finally he realised his master in front of him. Disbelieve was written all over his face.

“s- sans? wh- wha … what – how? they said you were dead!”

Tears were streaming down along the frame of his face.

“Since when do we believe in the ridiculous stuff those fools say? That aside, you should know better than to think that I would be killed so easily.”

He leaned down a little more, his own cheek brushing against Papyrus’.

“And besides, I couldn’t really leave you. Not like that anyway. You would be totally lost. What kind of master would I be if I’d let that happen?”

Papyrus was crying and sobbing bitterly. He felt relieved and was just so lucky to know that his master was alive. When he looked up again his eyes got caught by the bone still in his hand and his eyes widened in shock. His attack had pieced just through Sans ribcage. But his lord was looking at him as if he hadn’t even noticed. 

“m-m- my lord …” 

Was all Papyrus could manage to say. Brows furrowing Sans followed his gaze. It wasn’t much of a surprise, it had stung quite a bit in that area. 

“Huh … well that definitely calls for a severe punishment when we are home.”

He felt his magic dissolve. The grip on Papyrus with the blue magic went lose. Hastily, without caring much about the bones that were pushed into his hands he pulled his own bone out of Sans and wrapped him into his arms. Sans let him, not enough energy left to argue about the treatment.

“I would say it is about time that we go home. And there we should treat my wounds. They seem to be pretty severe.”

With that he dropped right against Papyrus chest, eye lights only a flicker before they vanished fully.

 

\---

 

Some days later Sans was almost back to his old condition. He had been lucky, the attack had managed to go through the ribs instead of shattering them, but they had been cracked nonetheless so he had to take it easy for a while. Papyrus was doing everything necessary to keep the house clean and to satisfy every of Sans demands. But each time he dared to look at Sans guilt washed over him and he would like to do nothing else than to be punished as he should be. Right now though he had to be there for Sans, it was his fault that he was in this condition after all, so it was his responsibility to get him out of it. Sans took the whole deal with exceptional placidity. He simply stayed in bed, read books or worked on some crosswords. As he got better to walk around the house he polished his weapon collection and did some of the cooking in the kitchen. Neither of them had spoken a word the whole time during Sans healing. Papyrus found it to be out of place to address his master and Sans was not in the mood to have a conversation. 

Until the day he would finally leave the house again that is. 

“PAPYRUS, COME HERE.”

He did as told and kneeled before Sans, who stood at the door, short before leaving. 

“I KNOW WHY YOU BEHAVED THE WAY YOU DID. I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU REACTED. HOWEVER, BEING SO FAR GONE DWELLING INTO YOUR OWN EMOTIONS THAT YOU DON’T EVEN RECOGINISE YOUR MASTER IS NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE FORGIVEN EASILY. I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT DURING MY HEALING PROCESS AND I KNOW NOW WHAT YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE. WHEN I RETURN THIS EVENING I EXPECT YOU TO PREPARE RESTRAINS IN THE BEDROOM. THERE YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR JUDGEMENT.”

And with that he went off. 

 

\---

 

When Sans returned home he was pleased to see Papyrus already in chains on his bed. This wouldn’t be pretty and it was not intended to. 

He took his place atop of Papyrus hips. His torso was already undressed as if he already knew what was coming. Summoning a sharp bone he inspected the ribs carefully before he slammed his weapon into them. He would scar Papyrus, the same place he scarred him. His little brother did not scream, didn’t even whimper at the pain. He just took it. 

It didn’t take long for Sans to finish. He would not allow it to be healed. Papyrus could live with it. Sans would have died if he had not been healed. And Papyrus is supposed to feel it. Feel it long enough so it will burn into his mind. 

When he unchained his little brother he placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He had been incredible good after all without making any noise or struggling. 

“You have been very brave today, and I want you to know that I forgive you for what you have done.”

At that Papyrus smiled at him. Tears of relieve were visible in the corners of his eyes.

 

\---

 

A few days after his punishment Papyrus came to Sans, with something in his hands. 

“my lord … sans, i have been thinking. i obviously don’t have the necessary control over myself that is needed to not be a threat to you and i don’t want to hurt you … ever … again. so i thought … it would be better if you were in control, always. outside as well.”

With that he stretched out his arms, showing what he was carrying. 

It was a leash. 

Nothing fancy but the meaning behind it was obvious.

Papyrus was nervous about his request. Sans was already his master but this would take it another step further. Outside they still had been more of brothers. He knew it would be difficult but he would feel much safer. For himself and Sans if he would take control. Sans knew how to handle him and knows what to do before anything like “that” would happen again. His expression was almost pleading but Sans’ didn’t change for a second. It was stoic as usual and showed not the slightest emotion.

After what felt like an eternity he took the leash and eyed it curiously. Then he placed his eyes on Papyrus. For a moment he closed his sockets in a thoughtful manner before he answered. 

“I WILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.”

Still holding the leash he went upstairs and in his room.

Papyrus was not sure what to make of this reaction. The only thing to do was wait and see if his master would handle to his wishes.

 

\---

 

A week passed before Papyrus finally got his answer. He was called into his masters’ room which was a rarity for itself.

Sans didn’t hold himself up with any explanation he simply ordered Papyrus to go on his knees and of course he did. As Sans walked behind him he felt his brothers’ finger unbuckling the necklace he had given him all those years ago. Grabbing onto it he spun around to look at his lord.

“please, no! don’t take that away from me. i will be good i promise, whatever i have done wrong i am sorry but don’t take that away from me.”  
He looked almost panicked. And he was. It had meant so much to him that his brother cared enough to want to know where he was and to make sure he would be able to find him, if ever someone would dare to take him away. And now he wanted to take that away from Papyrus and it pained him.

Sans remained unimpressed. Coldly he said:

“DON’T DISOBEY ME, TURN AROUND AND STAY STILL.”

Shaking Papyrus did as he was told, but as he felt the necklace removed he couldn’t hold onto himself and let out a barely noticeable sob. That was until he felt a new sensation around his neck. Sans had quickly fastened it and went a few feet away from Papyrus to grab something from the table. In that time his fingers tried to identify the new sensation. It seemed to be a necklace again. Just sturdier and with a metal ring in the front. The outer material was leather, but on the inside it felt softer. It almost felt like fur. Just like the one from the hood of his jacket. 

As Sans returned he held a mirror in front of him.

“FOR BEING SUCH A STRONG MONSTER YOU ARE INCREDIBLY WHINY. I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF MAKING A NEW COLLAR SO IT WOULD BE EASIER TO ATTACH THE LEASH.”

As much as he wanted to look at his new accessory, all he could do was stare at Sans. He wasn’t abandoning him, no, he just said he was willing to lead him! Papyrus was beaming with joy. His eyes were shining bright and his smile could easily keep up with them. He couldn’t hold on to his overflowing emotions. He jumped forward and grabbed Sans hard, with all that force they both lost balance and ended on the floor. And as much as he wanted to stay serious and show a stern expression, you could easily see the happiness that had taken place in Sans face as he saw his brothers reaction to his present.


	4. Darkness within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans walks down the memory lane and remembers how he and Papyrus got to Snowdin and the day he realised how truly broken his brother was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this to be only one chapter. But it was getting out of hand so I had to divide it into two.

Sans had his doubts about taking Papyrus on a leash. It was one thing to boss him around in their own home but outside was a whole different situation. He knew how much it meant to Papyrus though. It was to make himself feel safer and if that’s what his brother needed he had to provide. But he would have to make a new collar. The other one was old and not suited to have a leash attached to it. So he took his time to get the materials and to design it to his wishes and to Papyrus comfort. It was supposed to be sturdy but nice to wear. It was not supposed to make his little brother feel bad or hurt him, therefore he couldn’t use something rough. He settled with yellow fur, just like Papyrus hoodie, for softness and so the younger could easily relate to the collar. The outside was bright blue leather, just like Sans boots and gloves to show the connection to him as his master. There was no unnecessary addition along just the silver coloured metal ring. Of course he also added his magic to be able to track Papyrus.  
All those things he found in the dumps.  
Walking through the dump was equal parts making Sans happy and sad. Happy because you never knew what could be found and more often than not Sans found one thing or another that Papyrus might like. Sad because each time he went there was also bringing back memories. From the time they first went there, and from the time before they got to Snowdin. He always had to walk the path that they had taken all those years ago.  
The path where he had learned to what extent his brother’s possessiveness went.  
And the path that led to the encounter with Grillby.

6  
When they just escaped the labs Sans had no idea of what he was supposed to do now. Not mentioning of where to go. He knew about the different areas in the underground. New home, Hotland, Waterfall, Snowdin and the ruins. New home was overcrowded and he was certain keeping an eye on Papyrus would be near to impossible there, so this was no option. Waterfall was the place they just wanted to run away from. Sans was not sure if and how long the scientists would look for them.  
So far they just wandered around and with that they found the dump rather quickly. Surprisingly few people could be met there. Looking out for new clothes and things they might need on the way they soon found an array of items they would carry with them. Most importantly was to find something else to wear than their robes from the lab. Sans found himself a black leatherjacket with a yellow furred hood. It was a bit too big for him but he thought he might grow into it.  
When the brothers showed each other their findings, Papyrus was enamoured by the jacket and promptly nuzzled himself into Sans and the fluffy hoody. Sans in return embraced him and closed the oversized jacket protectively around them. The little one fell asleep at once so Sans picked him up to find a better place to rest. He would not sleep. Someone had to watch out, maybe the scientist would not come, but he would not risk it being brought back into that facility and having his little brother go through all his training again. They were free now and they would stay like that, even if it killed him. 

\---

They made their way to Hotland after they had explored the dumps. It was a horrible place, full of confusing ways and hidden traps. Once, Papyrus stepped on a wrong conveyor and almost fell into the boiling lava only to be saved by Sans who needed to use his blue magic on him. After that the smaller skeleton stayed close to his bigger brother.  
Papyrus made it a habit to walk right next to Sans, occasionally looking up at him to see if something was up. But the further they walked, the more the younger one began to fall behind. Sans didn’t register it at first. Always being on the lookout for potential traps and threats. After a while though, he felt something missing and when he looked around Papyrus walked in a slumped position several feet behind him. He walked to him, grabbing his hand tight.  
“I told you to keep close to me. Why are you staying behind?”  
Papyrus didn’t look good, he was sweaty and his eyelights were flickering. Even his speech was slurred.  
“I am sorry brother. There was something I wanted to look at. Everything is fine.”  
Throwing one last look at him Sans accepted the answer but didn’t let go of the hand and walked slower to so Papyrus could keep up. It didn’t take long for Papyrus to start huffing. Again Sans turned to him. By now his face was flushed. Was he sick? Neither of them had ever been ill.  
“Papyrus, what’s wrong? Are you not feeling good?”  
The younger brother only shook his head.  
“i am fine … let’s go on … ‘m just hot, ‘s all.”  
After eying him again Sans decided to go on. They had no other choice anyway. They were in the open and were already looking for a place to hide. Now even more important with Papyrus condition like this.  
Never letting go of each other’s hand they marched on. But as they proceeded Papyrus grip on his brother’s hand became a little softer with each step they took, until he let go completely and stumbled to the ground. Sans spun around hectically and dropped to his knees. He cradled his brother’s tense and far too warm body into his arms.  
Papyrus expression looked pained and his breaths came in short puffs. The bones were dried out and little fissures were forming on the surface of his small, fragile face.  
Sans tried not to panic. Panic would get them nowhere. But seeing his babybrothers tiny figure hanging lifeless in his grip made it hard to keep his thoughts straight.  
Quietly he tried to call out to Papyrus.  
“Brother, Papy, can you hear me?”  
No reaction followed.  
This was bad.  
Lifting his brother up like it was nothing, Sans held him tightly to his chest. They needed to find a place to hide. He needed to figure out what was wrong with Papyrus. He needed to find something to heal him!  
Sans tried not to run around headless. He still needed to be on guard for whatever traps might be there. He needed to precisely check out the conveyors and the steam machines to not let them run into their doom.  
It took him a long time and by then he started breathing heavy from the exercise of running in this hot area with the extra weight of his brother before he finally found a seemingly abandoned place. It was a room with a turned off puzzle. It was darker inside and to his joy felt a little less hot. It seemed the smouldering heat was effectively shut out of the small room.  
Carefully Sans laid his brother to the floor. He then arranged his jacket so Papyrus could lie more comfortably. The younger one was still panting and his expression still looked pained and Sans worry only grew.  
What was he supposed to do?  
How could he even help him?  
If he went out Papyrus would be without protection.  
And even if he would go looking for someone who could help him, it would be hard to find someone who would do so in the first place. And if he’d find someone he wouldn’t know if they would truly help him.  
Sans felt panic rise up and fill his chest with fear.  
What if Papyrus would die?  
No! He wouldn’t. This was nothing serious. Just a little rest and everything would be fine.  
Sans lowered himself down to the floor next to his pale brother. His breathing was shallow now and his soul beat less frantic than before. He seemed to calm down.  
“ s-sans?”  
Papyrus called out weakly and the older almost jumped at that.  
“Yes Papy, what do you need?”  
“hold me, please”  
He tried to reach out for Sans but his strength left him and his arm dropped to the ground.  
Sans shuffled closer and dragged the small body back into his arms. There Papyrus seemed to relax a little.  
So it was decided. Sans would stay. He would wait. And he would hope that everything turned out fine. 

\---

But it didn’t. Sans had fallen asleep and when he woke up he could barely feel his brothers soul anymore. His body was limp and his expression had softened far too much.  
“Papyrus! PAPYRUS TALK TO ME!”  
But no reaction followed.  
Sans jumped up.  
He needed help!  
His brother would die if he didn’t.  
Making their way out of their shelter Sans began to run. He didn’t know where, just somewhere, hopefully finding someone who would help him. Tugging his brother under his jacket to shield him from the smouldering heat of Hotland he pressed him flush against his chest. This seemed to calm the younger before and he hoped that would be the case now as well.  
In his desperation Sans started crying for help.  
And someone came.  
A Vulkin. They offered to heal Papyrus. They said their magma had healing magic. They said if they hugged Papyrus he would feel better. And Sans was desperate. He held Papyrus out for the other to hold him, but just before the other could reach him Sans registered something in their eyes. Something he had seen in Gersons far too often.  
A glimmer of madness.  
As fast as he could he backed off and retreated with Papyrus.  
“What is wrong?”  
The Vulkin asked in it’s sing-sang voice.  
“I can help you. I can heal him. I just need to hug him a little tighter. Just until his bones break. Then he won’t feel bad anymore. He won’t feel anything anymore.”  
And Sans began to run. He ran until he couldn’t hear the manic laughter anymore.  
He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He just wanted to cry. Cry until it was all better. But crying never made anything better. It only made it worse.  
He needed to go on.  
And so he walked. Until he came to a river. It was a lot cooler here. The river itself looked dark and dirty. Nothing somebody should drink. But it would hopefully be fine enough to cool Papyrus down. Sans began to undress his little brother. Getting him out of his sweaty clothes was a task in itself. He again draped the little skeleton on his jacket, before he made his way to drench the clothes in the water. It was still warm, but maybe cool enough to have an effect on Papyrus. The wet clothes were placed atop of the small monster but he still showed no reaction.  
They stayed there.  
Several times Sans changed the clothes but Papyrus state stayed the way it was. And with the hours passing by, Sans began to lose hope.  
His little brother could die.  
It was more than an option now.  
It was more likely than not.  
He must be sick or anything similar to that. This was not how a monster was supposed to be. And even if Papyrus was strong, if he was affected like this it didn’t mean something good.  
How could this happen?  
Now that they were finally free.  
Now that they had a chance to live.  
And Papyrus was supposed to die?  
The Underground was indeed a cruel place without mercy.  
Sans didn’t cry. He would not. But he could not hold himself up any longer.  
Moving Papyrus a little so his head laid in Sans lap he contemplated on what options he had when suddenly a cloaked figure in a boat appeared. They didn’t seem to care about them but the other figure on the boat hopped off of it and right in front of Papyrus and Sans.  
The monster looked at Sans, then at Papyrus then back at Sans. Not saying a word. And Sans stared back.  
“He is not going to survive like this you know?”  
The other monster finally spoke. And Sans scrunched his face into a grimace.  
“How would you know?”  
“I know a dying monster when I see it.”  
A pause full of silence followed. The other monster seemed to contemplate something before sighing.  
“Wait here, I may have something to help you.”  
And then they left. Sans was not sure what to think of it. The monster seemed nice enough, but should he really stay? What did they want to do with them? The monster in the boat was still there, still ignoring them. The whole situation was just absurd.  
Before Sans made up his mind on what to do the monster appeared again. Holding a bottle with a green liquid inside.  
“Give him this. This should heal him and bring his fever down.”  
Sans hesitated. Maybe this was poison. Why would it though. If Papyrus already was a dying monster there was no need to poison him. With shaking hands he opened the bottle and moved Papyrus so he was halfway to a sitting position. He still didn’t wake up so Sans opened his jaws to let the fluid drop into his cavity.  
To his disappointment the magic of the small skeleton didn’t absorb the liquid. It just ran through him and dropped off his bones.  
What could he do now?  
It wasn’t working.  
He was a skeleton, he could not just pump it into his body. It was magic. How was he supposed to heal him?  
An idea came into his mind.  
Their soul. The very culmination of their being. He knew it could be touched. He knew it could be worked with from own painful experience. He just wasn’t sure if it would be enough to just drop it onto the soul. But he needed to at least try.  
With shaking hands Sans put the wet clothes aside and reached into the small heaving ribcage.  
He had never thought he would ever touch a soul. Let alone because of this reason.  
The fragile heart was pulsating weakly. It was far too hot and it felt like it was burning Sans’ bones, but he didn’t care. He had to safe his brother.  
With utmost care he dribbled a little of the liquid on the orange shining soul. With the magic directly put onto Papyrus core, the soul had to absorb it.  
But it didn’t. Just like before it simply dripped off the scarred surface.  
Sans felt his own soul heavy beating in his ribcage.  
“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? DO YOU WANT TO DIE?”  
He screamed. His whole body rattling with fear.  
“YOU CAN’T DIE! I FORBID YOU TO DIE! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME HERE! NOT NOW. Not now when we are finally free…”  
Sans lost his composure. He screamed at the unconscious skeleton in his arms. What could he do? Just what? Pleadingly he looked at the other monster, asking for help. For a clue on how to make it work. But the monster just looked to the side, avoiding to look Sans in the eyes, expression blank.  
For a moment he just sat there, feeling the aching pain of the soul in his hand and the pain of losing his brother in his own soul. He stared at the half emptied bottle in his hands. There needed to be a way.  
He would find a way.  
Without thinking he took a firmer hold on Papyrus soul before he led it into his own ribcage. He felt his soul reaching out to his, but the others weakened heart didn’t respond. The longer the soul hovered within him more of the pain Papyrus felt went through him. But he didn’t retract his hand. They would go through this together. They would both live or both die.  
Finally he felt a connection begin to form. Slowly, almost hesitant, but a bond was made. He waited just a little longer, made sure their connection was stable before he led the bottle to his mouth and drank the portion. Soon he felt the healing magic doing its work. The heat rushing through him and burning his insides subsided and just for a bit he felt the others soul resonate with a silent hum. Through their connection he could feel it. He felt like he was drained off of his own magic. Hungrily the others soul ached for the healing magic.  
It worked.  
Papyrus soul was finally calming down. It was cooling off, slowly but it did.  
Sans felt relieve flowing through him.  
It worked.  
His brother would be fine. He was certain of it. Papyrus was strong and if the medicine worked he would be save. Hastily he swallowed the rest of the potion.  
He looked down to Papyrus, felt how everything was calmer now. Almost peaceful.  
For a while nothing happened. But then he saw Papyrus eyes flutter before he opened his sockets. With a groggy expression he seemed to try to focus on Sans. And as soon as he registered his older brother, Sans felt a wave of love and adoration, a feeling of belonging crash through him.  
“sans”  
He whispered weakly.  
“you made it better.”  
A sigh escaped him.  
“thank you.”  
He closed his eyes again and fell asleep. Deeply exhausted from the torments of his sickness.  
And Sans was just so happy to feel the soul slightly beating. Calm and relaxed and safe. 

\---

After the initial shock and stress Sans finally got to work through what happened and who he had to thank for that. The yellow coloured buff monster was still standing in front of him staring at them with disbelieve.  
Sans smiled in earnest. He didn’t care what the monster would do to him now, all that mattered was that his brother was okay.  
He owed this monster a life debt. What they did was something that could never be repaid.  
In the Underground saving someone else’s life was one way to make sure you had a loyal follower that would stick with you till the bitter end. After all. Nothing was just given here for free. If you needed something you had to offer something in return. Something of the same value.  
Breaking the silence between them Sans began to talk.  
“I don’t think it means much to you but I am really grateful for what you did. Not many monsters would have gone out of their way to safe a total stranger. I don’t know how I will ever be able to repay you for this.”  
The other monster looked calmly at him and then sat down. Close enough to have a conversational tone but far enough to not need to defend oneself immediately.  
“Well, I think you could start with telling me your story and why two children are running around in Hotland with one of them almost dying.”  
Sans didn’t really want to tell her. But it was not like he was in the position to deny her something.  
And so he told their story.  
As he finished the yellow face of the other monster had become a little pale.  
“That is an incredible story. You can call yourself lucky that you met me.”  
Oh Sans called himself lucky.  
“I am alphys. I am training to become the head of the royal guard. So far I am just a trainee but I won’t let it take too long. I will beat them all up until no one is standing in my way. I will bring change. I will bring justice!”  
The more she talked, the louder she became.  
The passion, the fierce dedication to her ideals was stunning and Sans stared at her in awe. Having a life debt with her seemed to be the best of all possible outcomes.  
They talked for a bit. She told him about what she wanted to achieve and he told her what he had hoped to gain when they were finally free. He wanted a home for them. He wanted them to be a family. Caring and good to each other. At that Alphys became thoughtful.  
“What you want is no easy task. You are still a child. No one will take you seriously. And I don’t even know about your fighting skills. Where do you plan to live? How do you intend to get gold?”  
Sans was silent. He had hoped with his teacher by their side they would get along somehow, but since this was no option anymore he had not really thought of a new plan. So far he had only planned to get away from the labs and find a place where they could stay and think about how to go on.  
That’s what he told her before he added.  
“But that doesn’t matter anymore. We belong to you now. So what do you plan to do with us?”  
At that the lizard monsters eyes widened in surprise before she hollered a loud laugh.  
“What do you take me for? A babysitter? I have no use for two weak children. I am not gonna be your momma hen and guide you around and take care of you. It’s the underground. If you want to survive make sure you do. But don’t rely on me.”  
Sans wasn’t sure what to make of this. Did that mean they were free?  
She glanced to the side before she added.  
“But I want you to keep in touch with me. In case I do indeed find a useful purpose for you.”  
Was she …?  
Yes! She actually tried to give them a way out of their miserable position of the debt and at the same instance she wanted to make sure that they would be fine on their own.  
What kind of monster was this? How could she be so nice? Sans was more than a little startled and didn’t really know what to say to this so he just said the first thing that popped to his mind.  
“You are so cool!”  
She flashed him a wide grin at that comment.  
“Of course I am, and when I am in charge, I will make this miserable place regret it ever becoming so miserable in the first place.”  
That moment Sans decided, he wanted to be like her. Fierce, strong, able to protect his brother, confident, independent, caring. No need to rely on anyone or on dirty tricks. He wanted to be able to do what she had done with them. He wanted to be merciful.  
The longer they talked the more enamoured he became by her.  
She never would lie or backstab someone. She thought herself as strong enough to simply smash anyone’s face who dared to mess with her and that meant, if needed until that face was no more. Sans was more than a little impressed by her confidence. It was something he admired back then and still does.  
Suddenly her mood changed and she became more serious as she spoke.  
“You know that you and your brother will have some problems? You are both tiny and small. I mean, I am not a huge monster either but I am buff and everyone thinks twice before messing with me. But you are young, not even fully grown, and look like the perfect prey.”  
With a long look at the Sans chest, where their souls were still connected she added.  
“And worse is your attachment. When you can’t defend the ones you love you can’t allow yourself to love. Easy as that.”  
At her words Sans grip around Papyrus hardened. She was right. But he couldn’t lose his brother. He just couldn’t.  
“So what do you suggest we do?”  
“Make the little one invisible. At least until he is old or you strong enough. But even after that I would suggest not showing any kind of emotional bond that you share. They will use it against you when you are strong, because that will be the easiest way to defeat you.”  
This was sobering. It was true but he hadn’t thought that their bond, the thing that had kept them alive during their times in the lab would be something he would have to worry about in the outside world.  
With a sigh he began to remove Papyrus soul from his ribcage and put it into his own. Papyrus felt stable enough. He had felt a while ago but it was just so nice to have the tiny heart next to his own. He felt complete like this.  
A little whimper could be heard when their connection broke off. Papyrus didn’t seem too happy about the action either. Wrapping the small, sleeping body in his jacket he stood up, giving Alphys back the empty bottle.  
“I really can’t thank you enough for what you did. Not only did you safe my brother but you also gave me crucial advice on how to live here. Even if you say we are useless, one day we won’t be and when that day comes and you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate ask for it.”  
She smiled. Showing all the teeth she had.  
“Hey punk, don’t get all mushy on me.”  
In a more serious tone she added  
“What are you going to do now?”  
“Honestly? I don’t know. My first concern was getting away from the labs. And then Papyrus got sick in Hotland and well, so far I haven’t gotten an idea on what to do or how to do it. We need a place to stay, so much is for certain and I need a way to get us some food. But I will figure things out. We are not as helpless as you think.”  
“If you need a place to stay I suggest you go to Snowdin. It’s a secluded place and only few monsters a living there. You have to go through Waterfall to get to Snowdin but I think it’s the safest bet for you. You could have a ride with the riverperson, but they don’t transport children.”  
In a whispering tune she continued.  
“They will tell you that it is because they don’t like children, but the truth is, they don’t transport kids, so if they run away in a hissy fit, they can’t get away too far from their home and their parents have a chance to find them.”  
She winked at him before lifting her voice again.  
“When you get to Snowdin you should ask for Grillby. He, more or less, runs the place. He will tell you what you can do for a living. It might be difficult since you are a child and won’t be considered as someone who can actually work but you look like you would find a way to make him change his mind.”  
She lifted herself off the ground and stretched.  
“Well, see you two around. I really hope you make it.”  
With that she gave Sans a pat on the head and made her way up the stairs and vanished only moments later.  
Looking after her Sans began to recollect all those new information.  
Now he had a plan. Now he knew what to do, go to Snowdin, talk to Grillby, find a home and work and become strong enough to make sure they would survive in this place. To make sure Papyrus would grow up and become his own skeleton. 

\---

 

Hotland was obviously too warm for Papyrus to handle it well and Sans didn’t like the dangerous lasers, conveyor belts and all the other traps that were so easy to get a small child killed. So they had to return to Waterfall, also to get to Snowdin they needed to pass through there as well. They could call themselves lucky, since Gerson and Gaster were both goners, nobody seemed to care about them or looked for them. So they were free to roam and explore Waterfall.  
When they reached the area it was a relieve to finally leave the burning fires of Hotland. But Waterfall had a lot of disadvantages too. They were always soggy and never felt really good with themselves. The air was hard to breath due to the humidity and overall it was simply not a good place to keep on living. Since they already knew about the dumps they stayed there for a while to gather things they would need on their journey onward.  
Papyrus liked hiding in the heaps of trash and Sans more than once panicked badly when he couldn’t find his little brother and he wouldn’t answer his calls either. Each time he had simply fallen asleep in his hideouts but Sans always thought the worst. That some monster had found him, that they used him or tortured him or that they would bring him back to the labs. Back to his training.  
They actually met Alphys a few times. And each time she asked how they were handling it so far. They did very well considering their situation but it was incredibly hard to get some food. So it was a curious thing that each time Alphys went to the dumps she had some food with her that she just didn’t want anymore.  
Sans knew he could never express how deeply thankful he was for a person like her to come into their life. To his bigger concern Papyrus, as soon as he was well and healthy again, was not happy having Alphys around. He was very distant to her, rarely talked and always tried to stay as close to Sans as possible.  
It was something that didn’t went unnoticed by the lizard monster.  
“Hey kiddo, don’t you worry, I am not going to take your brother away from you.”  
Her fine instincts seemed to let her know what was bothering Papyrus. Sans would have never thought that this was the problem. Though he should have known better.  
Papyrus didn’t respond to her statement. He only eyed her intensely without letting his expression change the slightest. It was creeping Alphys out but she guessed he had his reasons for being the way he was. And he was everything to Sans so he could not be bad. At least she hoped. But she was not certain.  
After some more moments of silence Papyrus seemed to accept her words as true and he relaxed a bit. He still eyed her from time to time and didn’t leave Sans’ side if he didn’t have to but overall it was a little less awkward now.  
In future meet-ups he still preferred to stay close to Sans but he stopped looking at Alphys in a way that gave her cold chills.  
\---  
On their way to find a place they could call home they also passed several locations with such wondrous views that that both brothers just stood there and stared in utter astonishment. They had seen pictures of Echoflowers but seeing them and their full beauty in real life could not be measured up by mere photographs. The blue shine they emitted that was reflected by the water all around and tinted the walls in a soft blueish tune was mesmerising.  
When they made their way and passed several of those peculiar things they began to listen to what they said. It was a wild mixture of cries for help, hopeful wishes, angry yells from fights and even meetings of lovers.  
Papyrus soon began to play with them. Telling his favourite fairy tale along their way.  
“Papy, why are you doing this?”  
“Don’t know. I like the story and I think it has a valuable lesson others should be taught.”  
\---  
In one of those rooms Sans met another monster. Shyren. She was actually rather dangerous. Whoever she would sing her song to would do anything she wanted. She would certainly be a strong ally but she was rather stupid and boisterous and flirted far too much with Sans to his own liking. But Sans was rather persistent and decided to ignore that. He returned daily and after a few days she seemed to get that he wanted her as a companion. But the next day she was not at the place where he usually met her. And not the day after. He didn’t find her in any other places and so they moved on. Maybe he had insulted her without knowing.  
Something similar happened several rooms later. This time it was a Woshua he tried to get along with. But just like Shyren it vanished one day.  
When they came to the wishing room both brothers stared at the ceiling and the glimmering “stars” in awe for hours. They only stopped looking because a monster named Temmie appeared. She told them that a lot of monsters actually dusted here because they just didn’t want to avert their gaze from the stars and just kept on wishing.  
So Sans urged them to go on, even though Papyrus insisted on staying just a little longer and actually started a tantrum. He threw himself to the floor and cried out. First Sans thought he would simply get it out of his system and then they could go on, but his little brother didn’t stop at all.  
Sans got increasingly uneasy from the loudness of his brother. So far they haven’t met any dangerous monsters but that didn’t mean they weren’t there.  
“Please Papyrus shut up! It’s dangerous to be too loud, let’s just go on. We can come back another time.”  
But the smaller didn’t even seem to listen.  
“You better silence him off before someone else will.”  
Temmie, who was still lurking around, adviced in a very dark tone.  
Sans had never seen him like that. Papyrus had always been pleasantly quiet and he didn’t know what to do.  
“But how do I make him stop?”  
“How about you slap him. Sometimes a little physical shock can bring someone out of their hysterics. Sometimes it is even the only way when monster get lost in it and lose their mind because they can’t snap out of the feeling that is torturing them. It is an act of mercy if you will.”  
Sans stared at the monster in shock. He couldn’t hurt Papyrus! He had suffered enough by the hands of others. He could not be one of them.  
But his little brother just wouldn’t stop and it was straining Sans. He tried to get a hold on his screaming brother but the moment he grabbed him Papyrus pulled away.  
And then he felt it. A looming presence somewhere behind him. It wasn’t too close, but it surely would not take very long for the presence to reach them if they didn’t go now!  
Pushing his doubts aside he took hold of Papyrus arm and dragged the struggling body along. In his tries to get out of his brothers firm grip he thrashed around and scratched and kicked and they didn’t really make any progress of getting away like this.  
That was when Sans stopped and with a backswing of his right hand he slapped his brother across the face.  
They crying immediately stopped.  
Both brothers stared at each other, neither believing what had just happened.  
Sans wanted to apologise, he wanted to say he was sorry. But he was actually happy. Happy that Papyrus finally seemed to get his mind around their situation and that he had finally stopped struggling and crying.  
“Come, we need to get away from here.”  
That was the only thing Sans said as he pulled Papyrus along. The smaller one followed, silently. Sometimes he sniffed a bit but he obediently came along while pressing his hand to his burning cheek.  
\---  
Their endeavor in the wishing room wasn’t the last time Sans met Temmie. Though the small monster seemed to carefully avoid being around Papyrus and only appeared when Sans was alone.  
The older skeleton had a hard time figuring Temmie out. He knew the monster was not what it seemed but he didn’t dare to make any kind of move as long as he didn’t know how to handle the situation. So they just talked.  
At one point the conversation was about Papyrus.  
“So, you and your little brother are very close huh?”  
Temmie asked and the way the question was voiced gave Sans the strong impression that this would not be a little chatty talk.  
“… yes, we are. Why are you asking?”  
He responded carefully.  
“Just wondering, don’t you think you are a little too close maybe?”  
Sans had never given it a thought. He had just accepted it the way it was. They only had each other. They needed each other. So of course they were close.  
“If you mean to warn me of other monsters using one of us to get to the other, you don’t have to worry. I will take care of it. I try to never let anyone see Papyrus, especially not when we are together.”  
He paused when he realised.  
“Well, that is except from you.”  
And with a low and threatening voice he glared at Temmie.  
“Will you be a problem?”  
“No, no no no no, of course not. I just have been thinking. Have you never wondered why none of the monster you have met and that seemed to be a valuable acquaintance suddenly disappeared?”  
Temmie looked at him innocently but a devious smirk played around their lips.  
In fact Sans had wondered about that, but what Temmie suggested here was something that Sans didn’t want to give a second thought.  
“What are you implying?”  
A shrug followed.  
“Nothing. I’m just saying that ever since I first saw you, your brother was disturbingly clingy. Have you never seen how he glared at the lizard? Ho boy if looks could kill she’s be dead where she stands several times by now. Have you never seen the dust on Papyrus clothes? Or the dust where you usually met those other monsters?”  
Sans stared at Temmie in terror.  
“Are you saying …”  
“That your brother has killed every monster you have met so far so he can keep you to himself? Of course I am not saying that. This would be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?”  
The smile was now spread aross the whole face.  
“All I am saying is, that maybe you should control your brother’s actions better. It might help you two survive in the long run. See ya around boneboy.”  
And just like that Sans was alone, trying to get his head around what Temmie had just revealed.  
\--- 

When Sans returned to their hideout later that day he still felt numb.  
Papyrus welcomed him with the same enthusiasm he always did, but Sans did not return the affectionate greeting. Shoving the smaller monster away from him he tried to gather his strength. This would be more than uncomfortable and he wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to start. He was not sure how Papyrus would react either.  
“Papyrus we need to talk.”  
The younger skeleton became wary of the seriousness in Sans voice and of the fact that he used his full name.  
“What is it brother? What do we need to talk about? Did I do something wrong?”  
Sans covered his face with both hands. Letting out a deep sigh.  
“That depends. I ask you to please answer honest. … Papyrus, have you killed the monsters I have met here in waterfall?”  
Long, long seconds of silence followed. Papyrus was staring at Sans and he held his gaze. He needed to know. This could not go on like this.  
“Yes, I have.”  
A groan left Sans throat.  
“Why would you do this?”  
The elders voice rose a bit.  
“They were not enemies, they might have been allies. I never said much about you killing my teacher but this was pretty much the worst move you could do. And now you just go on like that? This might be our doom, don’t you understand that?”  
Papyrus expression had hardened more and more.  
“I don’t care.”  
He whispered.  
“They tried to take you away from me! You spent so much time with them instead of me. They had to go!”  
“PAPYRUS THIS IS MADNESS! You can’t just kill random monsters just because I talked to them. Wha- What has gotten into you?”  
The small monster was trembling. Taking a step after step towards Sans until he reached him and could wrap his arms around his waist.  
“They took you away from me. They always did. I can’t lose you. We belong together. Don’t you think so too?”  
Sans went stiff in Papyrus hold. This was crazy. Just crazy! He looked down at his brother who looked up at him in return. Tears were gathering in the smaller ones eyes. And maybe for the first time Sans saw what he should have seen sooner. There was this glimmer, the familiar hint of something not right.  
Insanity.  
He hadn’t realised it back then. Back when Papyrus had killed his teacher, but he knew it now. He was afraid. Afraid of his own, younger brother. And this realisation shocked him even more.  
Papyrus still looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer that Sans was not sure he was able or willing to give.  
The following words were spoken like Sans was on autopilot. He sounded serious and his voice had a darkness in it Papyrus had never heard before.  
“Papyrus, I am your older brother. You will do as I tell you. I know what is right for us and I don’t want you to question it. What I do, I do for us to be together. Even if you might not understand it, you will trust me that I know what I do. So, I order you now, you won’t kill another monster again until I tell you to. You will defend yourself if you are being attacked. You won’t interfere when I am in a fight until I say so. Do you understand?”  
Papyrus nodded, eyes widened, hold on Sans never wavering.  
Yes, Sans was afraid of his little brother. But that didn’t change anything. He loved him relentlessly regardless. He would stay with Papyrus. No matter what that would mean for himself.  
They would be together.  
As long as they were together they would be alright.


	5. Growing apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Papyrus try to settle down in Snowdin but things are not going as smoothly as either of them wished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the Grillby thing will be revealed.

The first time they went out with Papyrus on the leash Sans was nervous. Very nervous. He was part of the guard, yes, the monster around respected or feared him, that as well, but sometimes all it needed to ruin a certain reputation was one wrong move. And even if Sans was mostly convinced that this new development wouldn’t change anything, he could not be certain for sure. 

They didn’t make a show. There was no need to. Sans simply held the leash loosely in his hand and Papyrus followed foot. They just took a short trip to the library for Sans to choose a new storybook for his brother to read him to. 

On their way the monsters in Snowdin were looking curiously at first but they soon accepted the situation as it was. Collars were nothing new around since the canines had a thing for them and a particular bunny lady liked to have her little brother on a leash as well. So it was not as much of a deal as Sans had feared. Some even seemed relieved that Sans was in control of his brother. And he understood. They were afraid that Papyrus would go berserk again and were happy to know that someone was around to prevent that. 

Papyrus as his personal bloodhound. That had a nice ring to it. And it definitely was supporting his reputation. 

With his new attachment Papyrus didn’t want to go outside anymore when he didn’t wore it. He didn’t even go to his sentry stations alone. Sans had to drop him off every day. He did like the time spending with his brother, but it was a nuisance nevertheless.   
It took several attempts until the older brother finally made Papyrus go out alone and that was only because he denied him to go to Muffet’s. After that Papyrus started to go out alone again. Reluctantly but he did. But when he left the house he didn’t without the leash. He attached it to his collar and crumbled the handle into the pocket of his jacket, so Sans could easily reach it if necessary. 

Muffet’s was a place Sans disliked to go for several reasons. It was a brothel, quite a nice one even. It was said they had the finest monsters in the underground. The reason why he didn’t like to go there was for the general act that was offered. He had no problem doing this with Papyrus. But others being put in the position to have to sell their body was something he could hardly handle. Papyrus was not aware that Sans disliked it because of the prostitution, he thought Sans found it dirty and disgusting and that’s why he never went there and Sans let him believe. 

\---

One time in Waterfall they got attacked by a herd of Moldsmalls and Moldbyggs. Singles of them were easily to manage but the more there were the harder it was to stand their ground. The thing about the Molds was: they were running on instincts alone. It could not been handled out some sort of agreement. They wanted to kill you because they were hungry and wanted to eat you. That was how they worked. Sans managed to defend them gracefully but when a handful of Moldessa appeared they were in deep trouble. Sans stamina was at its limit and that was when it happened. A strike brought him down and he was struggling on the ground. Papyrus was staring at him, he had been holding back. Sans had never allowed him to interfere so he didn’t but he wanted to so, so badly. 

Even if he didn’t want to, Sans knew what he had to do. 

“Papyrus,”

The other prepared himself.

“Kill them!”

It was a massacre. It was disgusting and mesmerising at the same time. The way the young skeleton moved, how he avoided the attacks in a tripping way that almost looked like dancing and the hard strikes of his attacks that never needed to hit a second time to dust the monster was hypnotising in its cruel beauty. Some of the Molds got away. But most of them fell victim to Papyrus rage.

Covered in dust and eyes gleaming in orange, with an exited smile on his face from the thrill of the fight and the sensation of EXP fuelling his stats he turned to Sans.

“did I do good?”

Sans swallowed heavy. He had ever seen Papyrus fight. He was impressed and disturbed at how powerful and with how much ease the other handled the situation. He did more than good. But was it really a good thing to praise his destructiveness?

“You only did what you were told. It’s the least you should be capable of.”

Papyrus whole demeanour changed within seconds. His proud stance crumbled away, his bright, sparkling eyes and big smile faded. Hunching he came back to his brother.

“you are right. that is what i am supposed to do …”

\---

When they reached Snowdin Sans soon figured out that it was harder to get to Grillby than he had initially thought. He was always somewhere else because of his business. His mansion was in Hotland and that’s where he spent most of his time, but Sans was not willing to go there and there was no need to, due to the majority of his shady deeds done in Snowdin the elemental came there regularly. When he was there however he had more important things to attend to than to listen to a little homeless skeleton. So Sans made a plan to catch him when he was alone and on his way to leave. 

He asked Alphys if she could watch over Papyrus while he was gone. He was not trusting the small skeleton to not get into trouble when he was alone. To his mild surprise she agreed. 

But she regretted that decision soon enough. She could never warm up to the small one. He was always distant and eyed her suspiciously and each time she turned her back to him she waited for him to attack. He never did, but she was sure he wanted to.   
They spent the time waiting for Sans to return in silence. That was until Papyrus came to Alphys and stood straight in front of her. 

“I want to thank you. You have saved my life and you have helped me and Sans out so much since we met.”

He began.

Those kind words changed soon into a more sinister choice of phrasing. 

“I don’t know what your intentions are. As far as I know no monster does something nice just because; so I will keep an eye on you. If you do something that is not okay, especially when it hurts Sans I will hurt you, I will break you and I will end you. And you should know, I am very capable of doing so.”

Alphys was startled. There was this child standing in front of her, his intentions for the first time obviously shown on his face and his intent was murderous. That kid was dangerous. 

“You made your point clear, now let me make mine.”

Without much of a warning she grabbed his throat and smashed him violently against the floor.

“I will not accept you threatening me like that. I saved your fucking live. My intentions are my and maybe if he cares to, your brothers business. You are just a stupid child and you should learn to know your place and to not mess around with those who mean good.”

They stared at each other, magic swirling around them, waiting to be unleashed. 

Then all Alphys could feel was a sudden cold grip around her soul and only moments later it was her who was laying on the ground, Papyrus towering over her. 

“How many times do you think I’ve heard that? The only reason why you are alive is because you helped us so far.”

And because Sans has forbidden him to kill another monster but she didn’t need to know that.

This was not going well. If this would continue she might actually have to kill that little bastard. And that would be no good for neither of the parties involved. So she tried something she rarely did. She tried to reason with him. Through the painful grip on her soul it was hard to speak but she made herself understandable. 

“You may be dangerous. You may even be able to kill me. But think just one moment about what that would mean. You would lose a potential ally and as far as Sans told me you have already done that before, several times even, and he was not happy about that. Now think how he would feel if you killed someone he might consider a friend. How do you think he will react to that? How do you think will he feel towards you from that day on?”

What she said had a visible effect on the little skeleton. His magic around her soul became weaker and his face showed signs of faint terror about the possible outcome of his actions. 

Papyrus knew she was right and that bothered him the most. This whole situation could escalate easily. He had just wanted to let know her place but now it looked like it might turn into a real fight. She stared at him with a murderous glare in her eyes. He was aware that the only thing keeping them both from starting a battle was the knowledge that Sans would not be amused about it. So Papyrus did the only thing he seemed reasonable. He run away. 

He heard the other monster shout out after him but he didn’t look back. 

Right now, this was for the best.

\---

Sans knew Grillbys schedule. It was about time that he would leave the vendors house and go to the river person. Somewhere along that path to the river were lots of there and that’s where he was hidden. It was a path where not many monsters stayed, so they would be alone. 

When he saw the fire monster approaching he straightened himself before he blocked the taller ones way.

“Little one, you are in my way.”

“I know.”

Grillbys facial expression shifted in a way that made it appear that he lifted an eyebrow. He took his monocle and began to clean it before he sighed.

“So, let me guess: you are new around here and are looking for a permanent stay or occupation and have heard I am the one to go to in those cases?”

Looking down Grillby mustered the little skeleton in front of him, with the icy and stern expression of one determined enough to do anything necessary for what he wanted. 

“Obviously, so how does it work? What do I have to do?”

Sans said with as much confidence as he could.

“Well, you look rather fragile, I don’t think that you have much to offer. So just leave. I don’t want to waste my time with monsters who are of no use to me.”

The elemental tried to step aside to get past Sans but he blocked the way again, inching even closer to Grillby.

“Maybe you shouldn’t judge so fast. I may not look like much but I can do more than it appears. Do you have any dirty work that needs to be done?”

He had to admit, that was one bold move. Grillby was not well known for his patience. 

The taller took his time to check the skeleton and was surprised at what he saw. He had expected the other to be young, but he had neither expected it to be a kid nor it having only one HP and even less having a LV almost as high as his own. 

“Kid, seriously, what do you expect with your health like this and even more with the fact that you are still a child. I am not legally allowed to give anything …”

“Oh please, as if I would come to you if I wanted anything to be done legally. And now quit the bullshit and tell me what I have to do to get what I need.”

Sans interrupted him.

“A feisty one aren’t you?”

An evil smirk played around the features of the well-dressed monster.

“But well, if you insist.”

He reached out and grabbed hard to catch the others chin. Sans tried his best not to look frightened, even though he was terrified. 

“Well, I am a curious monster. I have never seen a skeleton before. How about you show me more of you and I will think about what I can do to help you?”

Sans’ blue eyelights began to flicker but other than that he stayed stoic. He had expected this would not be nice. But he had not thought it would go like this and especially not right now. 

Taking a deep breath the small skeleton shrugged the jacket from his shoulders and let it drop down to the ground. His thick woollen pullover followed quickly. 

There he stood, ribcage exposed and soul beating fast in his chest. 

“Well? I want to see all of you. Continue.” 

So Sans did. 

Until he was standing in the snow completely bare. He knew it was cold. But he didn’t feel it. All he felt was the incredible degradation, shame and powerlessness while the older monster looked at him in interest. His gaze invading, and cruel.   
The cold tone that he spoke with contrasted his otherwise hot self. 

“Hm I wonder how it would be to fuck a skeleton. That would be an interesting thing to figure out. For this knowledge I would even find a nice place for you to live. So how does it work?”

The warm hands began to caress the slightly shivering bones. It felt not unpleasant, it were light touches not burning or hurting. And that was what made it even worse. The fingers tenderly touched Sans cheek and then began to wander further down, along his collarbone, followed his sternum, traced his individual ribs until he reached the very last. When he felt the hand try to reach into his ribcage Sans took a hold of them. 

“Not my soul.”

It was for no discussion. His soul was off limits. No one had ever touched him like this before and it was not nice but he would not let someone like Grillby let touch his very being. While holding the others hands he was calm, but actually all he wanted to do was to thrash out. He wanted to grab the others hands and break them. Pour water on them, whatever was needed to make them stop fingering his bones. But he stood still. He let it happen. They needed a place to stay. He needed a job. He needed to make sure Papyrus would have a home. He didn’t even flinch when Grillby began to fondle his pelvis.

“Well then little one, how does one fuck a skeleton. Or have you never done it before?”

Sans blushed. He knew there were ways but he’d be damned if he told those to the one before him.

“Tell me, how do you think it works? There is nothing to work with. I am literally a skeleton!”

That seemed to disappoint the other.

“Well. Then we are done here. If there is no way you can help me out, there is no way to help you out either.”

At hearing that, Sans mind began to race. 

The other was about to leave when Sans shouted out.

“WAIT! There…”

He gulped

“There is a way. Not really fucking but it might be enough for what you want.”

He opened his mouth and showed his blue tongue.

Grillby understood the message easily.

“Hm, that should work.”

The flame monster began to unbutton his pants and inched closer to Sans again. They had difficulties so manoeuvre themselves in the right position because when kneeling in front of the other Sans was almost too small to reach the others member.

“Don’t touch my head. I know what I am doing. Don’t try to lead me or force me.”

The places where Grillby had touched him still burned. Not because of the fire but because of the unpleasant memory that he let someone else touch him this intimately. He would not let the other make him choke on his dick as well. 

It was actually the first time Sans saw a penis in real life. Skeletons could imitate genitals with magic but he had never done that before and he would definitely not tell the other monster that he was capable of doing that. 

He had seen pictures of dicks, but contrary to his words he had no idea what he was supposed to do. But when the cock was shoved into his face he tried his best to arouse the other by licking leisurely along the shaft, circled the tip with his tongue and then brought it into his mouth and started sucking. He could hear faint grunts and so it seemed that he did something right. With the member in his mouth he embraced it with his flat tongue and added some pressure while simultaneously sucking harder. 

It felt weird. Just as the touches before, not too bad, if it wasn’t for the whole degrading ordeal. If it would be with someone he really cared for it would have been a different matter, quite pleasant even. But like this he had difficulties to suppress the feeling of throwing up. How he performed now might make or break their future and if he was lucky he only had to do it one time and then never again. 

Suddenly he felt the others hips move and felt the dick shoved deeper into him. The stretching feeling of the cock going down his throat added a burn and pain that brought tears to the corners of his eyes. It was all just so shameful! He just wanted this to get over with. He didn’t like being like this. And then he felt the hands on his head, forcing him harder onto the erection while those hips slammed against his face. 

Sans tried to resist, but the other was physicals stronger and in a better position. 

It felt hot, all too hot.

It hurt.

His body.

His soul. 

Why would no one help him?

Why did he need to do this?

Why would he still have to suffer even though he was finally free now?

Was it really better than the labs?

...

Yes. It was!

He was free.

He has a future!

It was his choice doing this.

It was his decision to do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

There would be no one saving him.

The only one who would save him 

was himself.

One, two thrusts and Sans was done with this shit. 

He bit down hard, his teeth burying deep into the flaming manifestation and he immediately heard the others scream and was push away from his sensitive genitals. 

Stumbling to the ground Sans spit out. He wanted to wash away the taste but it would still linger no matter how many times he tried to get rid of it. But that was something he should worry about later. He had to get away. If Grillby got over his pain he would be furious and Sans was in no position to get into a fight. 

So he grabbed his clothes that were splattered all around the place and damned himself for not having them placed in only one spot before he returned to Grillby. 

Standing close to him he brought all the hate he felt for that disgusting monster into his voice as he spoke.

“I told you not to use your hands. The deal is off. Don’t ever dare to come near me again or I will cut your dick off.”

Taking all of his remaining strength and confidence he walked away slowly. The other couldn’t know he was afraid. He couldn’t know he was ashamed. It was all fake but it was all that kept him together right now. It was all he had. 

\---

On his way “home” Sans tried his best to shake the dirty feeling off of him. To no avail. Neither could he get rid of the lingering taste of the others cock in his mouth. Even when he dissipilated his tongue the taste stayed. 

He had failed. He had lowered himself to do something like this but failed nonetheless. He was defiled, disgusting and they still didn’t have a home, he still didn’t have a job and on top of that they had a very powerful enemy. 

He wanted to cry, but he didn’t. Papyrus would see it and he could not let the other see. He needed to be strong for Papyrus. 

When Sans returned to their hide-out and he found neither Alphys nor Papyrus his soul began to clench and he wanted to just scream. What had happened? Why were both gone?

He went outside again frantically searching for either of the two.

Luckily he soon found Alphys, who told him what had happened. 

They agreed to part and search different districts to cover more ground. 

While both monsters were looking for him, Papyrus had entered a very shady area of waterfall that he usually didn’t go to. 

Just when he walked around a corner he heard a scream and with each step he took, he came closer to the desperate shouts for help. When he finally came to the source of all this ruckus he saw a spiderwoman lying on the floor, twisted around her and making her scream in agony was a Pyrope. She looked at Papyrus in a desperate plea. 

Sans had told him that other monsters business was not theirs. It would only get them into trouble. But he had also told him that it was possible for monsters to build alliances when they helped each other, similar to the way Alphys and Sans had connected.   
This was an opportunity. 

He was angry, he felt his magic stirring in him and this… If he helped one of the monsters he might win a friend. Maybe Sans would be happy about that. Maybe he would not be mad at him anymore for killing those other monsters. 

So without further thinking he took the other monsters soul, turned it blue and flung it away. At that the Pyrope seemed furious and began to attack Papyrus. 

Well, he was allowed to defend himself. So he threw a row of bones at them. To his own surprise the monster dusted almost as soon as the third bone hit them. 

That was a much easier fight than those in the labs had been. 

When he registered a little whimper from behind him he turned around and saw the shivering lady looking at him with wide eyes. 

“Did they hurt you?”

Papyrus asked and wanted to help her up before he realised that her clothes were shredded into pieces. 

“T-thank you.”

She said with a shaky voice. Not responding to his question.

That was how Papyrus met Muffet. She was the owner of Muffet’s. Back then it was not running well and she also made visits out of house. Ever after that incident she didn’t anymore and she got her pet. 

When Sans finally found Papyrus. He was angry, he was happy, he felt far too many emotions for him to handle. Muffet told him about the things his little brother had done and that was just too much, he blanked. But only moments later, when he heard Muffets gratitude and the question on how she could repay them he shyly asked if she knew a save place for them to live. And she did.

She found a place for Sans and Papyrus to stay. It was not much but better than living in caves. It was a studio apartment in the inn in Snowdin. 

He thanked her. And she gave them the key to their new home. 

There Sans dropped to the bed immediately. He felt Papyrus climb to him and pulled his little brother into a tight hug. Papyrus was startled by it. Sans was not the one craving too much of physical attention but this time he seemed almost lost. 

“Sans you look like you want to cry. What is wrong?”

“Must be something wrong with your eyelights. I am just happy we finally have a place to call home.”

“Are you mad at me?”

Silence followed. Sans tugged the little one closer.

“Just… don’t run away again okay?”

“Alright.”

Papyrus hugged Sans tighter in return. Whatever his older brother was dealing with, Papyrus hoped he could make it a little better for him. Especially now since they had a home he must be happy right?

\---

They were truly lucky with Muffet having a place for them to stay. But that still didn’t end the problem of financing food. Sans tried his best to work and get them something to eat but those jobs he took were only ones he could take occasionally and, on top of that, only jobs others didn’t want to do. So when Sans returned home he was exhausted and most often than not in a bad mood.

Papyrus was alone for most of the time, which was not as much of a problem now that they had a place to stay. But he would often slip out and go to the dump, visit Muffet or just stroll around. He was confident that nothing would happen to him so he didn’t see why he should hide. 

One of his findings in the dump was a flute. Papyrus liked it immediately and soon began playing. It started out rather bad but as soon as he finally got the first melody right he went to Muffet and played it for her, asking if it was good enough to show it to Sans as well. 

Sans was not amused of Papyrus playing. Not because it wasn’t good but because he was not aware that Papyrus was walking around just like that. And soon people began to ask questions. They saw them together and since they were the only skeletons and lived in an inn they soon came to be know all around Snowdin. 

Being this well-known was no good. It was only a matter of time before Grillby would figure out, if he hadn’t already and Sans began to panic. 

He remembered what Alphys had told him. About their connection and not showing affection. Papyrus was very, very bad at that. He didn’t want his hugs to be denied not even in public and it didn’t matter how many times Sans told him that this was bad, Papyrus did it anyway. At the end of the day Sans figured he had to do something. If Papyrus was too stubborn to listen he had to feel it. 

So whenever they were out together he treated his brother badly. He shouted and insulted him until the smaller one was crying. At home he would always tell him that he didn’t mean it. He would always hug the other and Papyrus was always forgiving him but the bond they had began to crumble. 

With time Sans had more and more difficulties with laying off his distance behaviour. Adding to that was the realisation that he kind of liked being without his brother for a while. To just be for himself without the little one watching him, or him having to take care of Papyrus. So knowing Papyrus was safe at home he worked and hung out with Alphys as much as he could or would stray in the dumps. Often he brought something from there for Papyrus who would always say that he didn’t want anything besides Sans being with him. 

As soon as Sans turned 14 he joined the royal guard. He had already talked with Alphys about it and she was supporting him greatly, giving him lots of training and tips about how to do better. With Sans being away from home for so long Papyrus began to visit Muffet on a regular base. She didn’t mind. She liked having the kid around and so did the other employees. 

After a while Sans increasing independence and aversion against showing affection had become so imminent that he had to force himself to keep the smaller more company and give him the hugs and caresses he craved for. But when Papyrus entered his difficult stage Sans tried many, many things to get Papyrus out of trouble. But no punishment he would bring out on him seemed to affect the younger. That was until Sans threatened to stay away from Papyrus for good.   
That worked. Not for too long though. 

Papyrus couldn’t stop himself from getting into trouble and so Sans made his warnings reality and after the longest time it simply was a given fact for Sans to avoid being nice to Papyrus, no matter how much they both suffered from it. 

Their relationship didn’t get any better when Papyrus himself was counted as an adult. So far Sans had never experienced attraction to another monster before but after Papyrus had entered his first heat Sans never saw him the way he did before.   
And this was not okay. So he avoided his brother as best as he could. 

While Sans wasn’t offering any kind of companionship anymore the patrons in Muffet’s liked him a lot. With all the time he had he could practise his skills with the flute and became so good, that he started playing at Muffet’s several times a week. One of those days he played for some customers and one of the turned out to be Napstablook. He was impressed by Papyrus and offered him to work at his hotel. Papyrus accepted and from his first payment they could finally afford their own real home. 

Sans was actually genuinely happy about Papyrus having a job doing what he loved. That he was employed by Napstablook, who Sans had a slight crush on was another topic itself. Sans and Napstablook had both openly declared their interest in meeting the other to Papyrus but he always found a way for them not to meet. And he would make sure it stayed that way.

With time both of them found a routine in what they were doing. Papyrus did his thing. And Sans? He had his plans.

Growing up in Snowdin was not easy. But even though Snowdins reputation was rather bad and the clientele mostly shady, it was surprisingly one of the safer parts of the Underground.

Sans always called himself incredibly lucky. Sure, their years in the labs had been hell but at least they got out of there, which was a miracle itself. They were never caught. And they had found Alphys to save and help them. Even after that they had been lucky that they met Muffet who gave them a place to stay and then for Papyrus to have the opportunity to work for Napstablook and himself joying the royal guard … things he had never dared to dream of. 

Yes, the Underground was a cruel place. Yes they had been through tough times and there were sure more to come. But even though he and his brother weren’t as close as before, they still were together. They had a place to go to and even something they could call friends. It was more than he could have ever imagined. Still, it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted change. 

And he wasn’t the only one. 

He knew about several monsters that were fed up with this aggressive and threatening lifestyle they were forced to live. He wanted to change it and joining the royal guard, after his years as trainee, at Alphys side, who shared the same dream, they were a step closer to reach their goals. Together, they would gather enough human souls to finally get to the surface. 

\---

So far they have collected six human souls. Only the seventh was missing. But they would get that one too. And when they would go to the surface Sans was sure they would finally be okay. They would not have to live in fear.   
They would finally be free.

**Author's Note:**

> It's not supposed to be something elaborate. I just needed to put some strings together.
> 
> I put Papyrus age along to show the time that had passed in between the events.


End file.
